Dating Other People

TeaI try to make sure that I date my husband as often as possible, this keeps our marriage alive and kicking. I also try to date my kids, this helps us build our relationships. On occasion though, I like to date other people.

There is sanity in friendship and there are different ways to go about maintaining those relationships. We can talk on the phone, email, or even use Facebook and Twitter. However, I prefer to go out on a “date”. Sitting down, face to face, and enjoying the other person’s company.Coffee

I have had “dates” with all sorts of different friends and family members. Sometimes we sit and just have a cup of coffee; other times we plan an activity. It doesn’t matter the venue, as long as we are spending time together and having a good time.

I am always amazed at how much I learn from our time together. I learn not only about them, but about myself. I have grown tremendously because of the wisdom and life experiences that they have shared.

TeaTableSettingAs my children grow and develop their own friendships, I want to encourage them to do the same. Whenever possible, I try to arrange for them to have “dates” with their friends. We have done small tea parties, park days, and even excursions; opportunities for them to focus on their friendships.

One fun aspect of homeschooling is that we have a generous schedule, which allows us to accommodate other people’s time limits. There are dates that occur on weekends and just as many that happen during the week.

Unfortunately they can be few and far between, but we try to make them happen as often as possible. The important thing is that my children be taught to take time for relationships and not just responsibilities. That they remember people and not just things. Coffee

I am ashamed to say, the one person I probably haven’t gone on a date with, is my mother! Her schedule is more hectic than mine! However, she has expressed a desire. I think I need to give her a call, when she gets back from her latest trip, and make her set a date!

Do you ever “date” other people? What is one activity that you like to do together?

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12 thoughts on “Dating Other People

  1. It’s definitely more than just hanging out. Dating in this context shows a quality of ‘mindfulness’ – it’s focusing on the other person and one’s friendship with him/her. Our local art museum has a wonderful exhibit going of late 19th- and early 20th-century French advertising posters. I’ve been to it 5 times now – each time a ‘date’ with someone I wanted to spend time with (I also REALLY love this art!). Afterwards we go to lunch and talk about our impressions of the art and what it made us think about.

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  2. I’m pretty introverted, but I still love getting together with a close friend once or twice a month to sit and have tea and talk. It’s incredibly restorative, especially when our kids go off to play together! I think I forget how nice it is to have the adult conversation 🙂

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    • Adult conversation, especially in the context of homeschooling, is important! It helps us remember that we are ladies and not just mommies. Tea is such a wonderful way to relax and enjoy the afternoon! (Of course, it doesn’t hurt if we throw in a few finger sandwiches either?…LOL)

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  3. Maybe your mom could take you on a trip date! LOL!! You are a better mom than me. I am not as purposeful about making sure that my kids have a social life, but I have purposed to never well ,almost never say no when a social experience presents itself!

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    • Oh, I am sure my mom would love that! Perhaps when my little ones are older. My conscience (and my husband) don’t really care for the idea of leaving them quite yet. Spending the afternoon together would be great though. It has been a while since we have done that.
      I don’t know that I think of it as giving them a “social life”. I figure that if I need friends, they must need friends too!

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  4. One of the big arguments against homeschooling is the “socialization” issue. The truth is, as you stated, “One fun aspect of homeschooling is that we have a generous schedule, which allows us to accommodate other people’s time limits.” In other words we can teach and model a better brand of socialization. Teaching our kids to value relationships (and doing so ourselves) is the greatest investment we can make in our world.

    -Michael
    http://www.TheEconomyOfTheSoul.com

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  5. I recently took my mom on a date for an afternoon matinee and lunch. It was wonderful. Usually, my kids are with me and they have her attention, but I arranged for childcare and we had uninterrupted conversation for the first time in maybe a year. It was so special!

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  6. I’ve had several friends I used to go out on “dates” with. One of my friends we’d just go for coffee every once in a while. It was awkward because he was my ex-boyfriend, but he and I were much better off just being friends. We’d sit back, drink coffee (well, tea more accurately) and occasionally play a game of chess. It was a lot of fun.

    I remember at one point in time my co-workers were making all sorts of rumors because I had a guy friend meet me at work one or two days a week. He generally took me to dinner because I didn’t have the money and he REALLY liked good food. We’d then go to some social meet-up that he and I were both planning to attend anyway, but we’d have that quiet time before we got there to really spend some time together. It was nice.

    “Dates” with friends have caused a lot of problems for me in the past with people who don’t understand because I do have a lot of male friends. It’s about half and half when you really get down to it. Most of my female friends will have get togethers where we bring our kids, but with my male friends it’s usually going out to coffee, stopping by a new restaurant that we both wanted to try, or things of that nature. There’s such a stigma that being alone with a man in private implies something is going on that it’s just become a lot more comfortable to share my time with my male friends in a public place, just so neither of our reputations get too sullied. In some ways I think it’s even better because I get to spoil myself with going out somewhere I might not get to go with my partner and kids in tow. My partner isn’t much of one for hanging out at coffee houses or at the book store. His “date nights” with his friends often mean going to guitar center, getting together for a jam session, or hanging out for a day of gaming. It’s really good for both of us.

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