Best Friends Forever

My GirlsThere are some people who will only be in our lives for a brief moment, friends who will be there for a short while, and yet others who will last for the long haul.

Amidst the vast (or very few) friends we have, usually one or two rise to the top and are termed the “best”. The ones who are there no matter what; the ones you can count on through thick and thin.

Finding such a friend can be real challenge, but when we find them, we stick for life. It doesn’t matter the distance, nor the difficulty; a “best friend” is there forever.

In our own home, we have encouraged our daughters to find a “best friend” in one another. Having three girls in the house and all close in age, that isn’t unexpected, is it?

Now, I understand that not all sisters like each other, much less are each other’s best friends. I simply figured that if they are constantly encouraged to do so, it increases the likelihood of reaching that goal.

While our girls are encouraged to have friends outside of our family and to nourish those friendships, we highly stress the importance of making their sisters their “best friends”. Others might be “close friends”, but none should be more important than their own sisters.

Spending our homeschooling day together, playing, and being creative, all helps them to further their relationship and to strengthen the bond between them. They share secrets, surprises, and sorrows; all of which help to cement their friendship.

This does present a slight problem for my son though, being the only boy in the house. He, on the other hand, is going to need to find a buddy. Buddies

Right now, my husband is his best pal and he probably will be for some time. It is a blessing to see them playing, reading, and resting together.

While my brilliant plan might not work… I intend to fully continue encouraging my girls’ friendship, lending a helping hand from time to time and watching it bloom.

Who is your best friend?

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11 thoughts on “Best Friends Forever

  1. My husband is my true best friend. Paul Reiser said it best in his book Couplehood. “Sometimes [at a dinner party] you’re in the middle of your story, you look around the table, and you realize – nobody’s listening…And then, the saddest moment in the world; You look at your wife and discover she’s listening. She, who’s heard the story a thousand times.”

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  2. Oh please don’t ever give up on encouraging them to befriend each other! I wish so much that my struggling-juggling mom who worked full time and supported us five girls could have been there to nurture a strong bond between us! We are all struggling so hard to find common strands to hold on to as friends as we grow older. What a blessing to see your little ones are so close!

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  3. I have two best friends now, though one doesn’t talk with me much. I know if I ever need to talk to her she’s only a Facebook message away and she’s always there to listen and give advice. She and I have known each other since 7th grade. I met her on the first day of school after transferring out of Catholic school.

    But my closest, best friend is my partner. Sure, we have our falling out moments, but in the end we’re always there for each other, even when times are bad,

    Growing up my sister was my best friend. We stayed best friends until I didn’t go to college and she did. We were only a year and a half apart, but our lives took such different paths that we were driven apart. I miss her. I’m so happy to hear you’re encouraging your girls. After all, they’ll always have each other, and I know you’ll support them in accepting each other’s differences as they grow in different directions.

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  4. You’re a smart mama.
    I always told my boys that friends will come and friends will go, but brothers are brothers forever.
    That’s been true with my siblings. I have four sisters and one brother and we’re all very, very close.
    I couldn’t get along without them or my man or my boys. They’re each one a gift straight from God.

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  5. Growing up in a Navy family, my siblings were the only constant companions I had. I had good friends each time we landed in a new school, and many I’m still in touch with through the miracle of the Internet, but it’s my siblings who I’m closest to. Part of that is the fact that we’re bound by blood and couldn’t get away from each other if we tried. Part of that is because we’re relatively close in age (though that doesn’t account for my friendship with my littler sisters, 12+ years younger than me). Part of it is because mom would never tolerate us fighting; not-being-friends is not a thing that would stand in her house.

    As I mentioned on another of your posts, it’s hard for me to differentiate friendships, and if I had to say who my best friend was I’d say, “Davey, and Al, and Violet, and Noel, and Ellie…” But one point I’d like to make is to not sepparate your son from his sisters. Some of my strongest bonds are to my sisters, and I feel like that’s a very important relationship to nurture, not least of all because he can show them the way a boy should treat them and they can show him the way he should behave with girls. It’s been a long time since I was a little boy, and maybe there will be things he can’t share with his sisters, or needs they can’t understand — I assume as they reach teenage years this is almost definitely the case. But I think that the notion that a boy’s best friend can’t or shouldn’t be a girl is unfortunate at best, and that an attitude that a boy should be sepprate from his sisters is particularly troubling.

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    • I wouldn’t say that I am hindering my son’s relationship with his sisters, just the opposite. Nor would I encourage them to be separated… bad idea! I highly encourage them to play together and build that bond. It is simply that I find it unlikely for them to be “best friends”, as there are things that a guy doesn’t share with his sisters and they with him.

      I think there is a lot they can learn from each other and we highly encourage this. My son learns how to treat women and my girls learn how to act like ladies.

      I think at some point though, my son is going to wish for male companionship and his sisters just aren’t going to do it; especially in the teen years, as you mentioned. Even now, if he could be with my husband all day, he would prefer it. He likes his sisters, but being the only boy in the house, he needs guy time.

      I appreciate your perspective. I confess, I have never met a guy who considered his sister his best friend, even though they might be close. This encourages me to be hopeful of their future.

      Thanks!

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  6. Love this post…This is an ongoing talk in our family…We live in a neighborhood with nothing but older kids…Our kids are usually eachother’s playmates…My hubby is my best friend…Two boys and one girl make for a very interesting mix in our home but I feel and stress to them that they are to be there for each other through everything…I strongly believe that it is their first introduction on how to treat others with respect even when they are angry with each other…It also teaches them how to love one another no matter what the other does or says…My daughter is looking to me to spend the “girlie” time with since she doesn’t want to always go play Nerf war or dig in the mud..

    Sometimes, I cannot always spend that “girlie” time with her because of all the mom duties but I like to think that I am teaching her how to be a Godly woman, wife and mother in the mix of our daily duties…She is a wonderful sister to her brothers though…She has learned to care, love and accept who they are…

    I watch how she has grown into her own personality without the interruption of someone else telling her to dress, act and be…Our kids have great relationships with both sets of grandparents…They visit them frequently…We explain to our children that friendships do not always have to be people of the same age…They just need to be there for you by your side and share some common interest…

    You are exactly right…Friends come and go throughout your life but finding that one person has to be in God’s timing…

    Thank You so much for you honest viewpoints and sharing your story…This is what I needed to hear today…

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  7. Actual best friend is Jesus and it’s nice having “God” dates….something I did a lot in Highschool but not as much as a busy mom…..something beyond normal devotions and prayer.

    Now the people I call my best friends are several…..My mom first, Hubby & Son second….then Hannah (fellow homeschool mom) and Julie (long distant friend that I met when our hubby’s were deployed) come next and my half sister Jenn would be on the same level…just we rarely get to see each other…..we keep up by blog, email, and phone calls. I see my best friend Hannah the most out of non family members. I could probably include other family like my Granny but I don’t see them much.

    I guess I’ve always had a hard time narrowing it down. My Dad was one of my best friends but he’s in Heaven. Growing up I always had one or two girls that I hung out with a lot. I had a guy I grew up next to. But they came then went. My Parents were always the ones that I stuck closest to and I was holding my Daddy’s hand even in Highschool. I was never ashamed of my parents. They were divorced so I struggled with seeing them both enough….finally by my junior year I was seeing my Dad Monday & Wednesday, Mom Tues & Thurs, and the weekends alternated. I always had a suitcase packed. Praise God that my son doesn’t have to choose between parents and that your kiddos don’t either…..

    Thankfully my bff Hannah’s hubby is good friends with my hubby and her two kids love Michael. Her little girl was born the same day as Michael. We are planning their wedding :). So it’s been a wonderful thing to have best friends in a whole family. We’ve never had that before.
    God bless and I hope your girls will always be besties :).

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