Marriage can be a bit tricky. While we are one with our spouses, it is just as important to realize that our spouses are not our everything. If we are looking for the other person to make us happy or to “complete us”, we’re bound to be disappointed.
I love my husband, truly I do. However, I am setting us both up for failure if I expect him to complete every aspect of my life. It is not his job to “fill the whole in the middle of my heart”. Wow! That would be a daunting task for anyone, wouldn’t it? My poor man would need to spend large chunks of everyday simply trying to figure out what I need, then he would have to devote even more time to making it happen, only to figure out that he couldn’t possibly do it all anyway. It’s not that I’m a difficult girl, I’m pretty low maintenance (seriously, go ask!), but, if I’m going to be honest, there are some issues only God can work out.
It is not my kids who are supposed to complete me either. I have heard many a young, frankly naive, young lady who thinks having children is going to fulfill her life and offer up someone to love her completely. Wow! No child should have to live with that burden. What will she do when her child acts out or doesn’t live up to her expectations?
Sure, you might not rely on people to make you feel complete, but what about that fancy career? What would your life mean, if somehow you lost that important position and were now in limbo?
Here is a tough one for me…. Does my role as a homeschool mom “complete” me? (Ouch!) If somehow I could no longer homeschool, would I feel like less of a person or insignificant in life? How much of myself is wrapped up in what I do and not in my value as seen through God’s eyes?
Yes; we should want our spouses and our children to love us. Yes; in a sense, things may be fulfilling. However, there is a huge difference between finding something fulfilling and relying on that bond to complete us. The only relationship which should complete us, is the one we have with Christ. It is in Him and Him alone we should find our happiness and contentment.
As a friend once stated, “I am always going to disappoint you. I am always going to let you down. Don’t rely on me. Rely on God.” Now, that is one awesome statement.
What advice would you give to someone who is co-dependant?
“So you also are complete through your union with Christ,…” – Colossians 2:10