His Ways Are Not My Ways

His_WaysSometimes this mommy can get a little confused. I’m the one who keeps the home, teaches the children, runs the errands, cooks the food, and more. With all of my responsibilities, on occasion, I fool myself into believing that my way is the only way. When my husband ventures to teach a home school lesson, asks for something to be handled differently, or questions how things are done, this mama needs to remember humility. His ways may not be my ways, but that doesn’t make them wrong.

God, in His goodness, gave each of us different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. He also gave each of us distinct roles to play. In a marriage, we are to use these to build our family. As a wife, I need to remember I am here to be his helpmeet, not the other way around.

My husband is definitely not going to do things the way I do. He is much more laid back. He likes to joke around, play games, blurs limits for bed time, and has a routine which is completely his own.

Sometimes I can get uptight when things are not being done the way I envisioned. In those situations, the problem isn’t my husband, it’s me! I need to remember who the head of our house is and it isn’t this girl. I need to humbly accept that while I might, generally, keep our home, it’s his house too. Our kids aren’t my kids alone; he ought to be involved in their learning, their upbringing, and their activities.

Does this mean he never need listen to my opinion or hear my concerns? Of course not! A wise husband will want to hear what his wife has to say. However, a wise wife will also understand that just because her husband hears her out, doesn’t mean he is necessarily going to do what she asks. She needs to accept this with humility and acknowledge he is doing his best to lead their family.

While our way of handling things doesn’t always align, it is important to remember that these differences are also what make us stronger. My husband is gracious, where I am strict; he blurs time limits, while I keep us on track; and the list could go on forever. There is a time and a place for both!! There are times when my kids need my husband to walk in the room and completely mess up fix our lesson with a few jokes, just as much as they need someone to make them go to bed on time. There are times my ways are going to win out and times when mommy steps aside, letting the man lead as he so desires.

The key is to remember that ultimately I am not in charge here; God comes first and then my husband. So, if my guy wants us to stop in the middle of a lesson and run off to Disneyland; guess what we do? When my man thinks I should be teaching a certain way; guess what we do? If my husband thinks the floor could use one more going over; yup, you guessed it!

Some might say this behavior resembles a certain mat we wipe our feet on, but this is not so. I do not do these things because of my husband, though I love him dearly. I submit because I want to please God and I know He is pleased when I humbly accept my husband’s wishes. On the flip side, I know my husband loves to be good to me. I trust that  he would never purposefully do something to hurt me, humiliate me, or bring our family harm. So, when he wants something done or does things differently than I do, there must be a good reason; even if that reason is just to have a little bit of fun.

Yup; on occasion this mommy needs to remind herself that she is not the boss. God is ultimately in control of our home and family. I trust that He will direct my husband and use my guy’s unique gifts to lead our family in His own way.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
– Ephesians 5:22-24

🔔Time to Chime In: Is following your husband’s lead sometimes a struggle?

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6 thoughts on “His Ways Are Not My Ways

  1. I struggle with it all the time!!! I love this post, it actually is something that I could have wrote, nearly word for word. Thank you for writing this and letting me know that I am not alone in these feelings. I am a control freak and my husband is much more relaxed, which is EXACTLY why we are good for each other. Sometimes, it makes the day to day more challenging though!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this reminder. I often forget that I’m not the boss around here. Ha! Like you, I find myself constantly caring for the children and the home and making decisions all day long. Because of this, I often forget that my husband also has a say as to how things should go.

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  3. Controversial topic. Controversial scripture. 🙂 Controversy aside, in our old routine we had a similar approach. In our new routine, mum schools one day a week. It’s been more a case of changing gears, than a changing of the guard. It keeps her regularly involved, shows the kids that we work together, can work things out together, and it means I can keep up with my own study goals. Complimentary, however, I have the (VERY rarely used) right of veto. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can relate and it is such a good reminder. Your description ab your husband, more or less the same as mine 😀 Yes, submission is a struggle for me. But when I tried to “… in humility value others above yourselves” however, I feel peace beyond understanding, knowing that God is in control of our home and family. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was a single mom for several years before my husband and I got married. It was a HUGE struggle especially in the beginning and when we started having children together. Even now I need these reminders that I am not in this journey alone and that I don’t carry everything myself. As many times as we butt heads, there is such a comfort in being submissive to him. Thank you for sharing this 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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