“It’s my belief that there’s a literal epidemic of angry moms in and outside of the church today. Moms are struggling, they know they’re struggling, and they want help. But they have no idea where to start.”
~ Brooke McGlothlin, Co-Founder/President of MOB
If you had asked me whether or not I was – am – an angry parent, I would have said, “NO!” I don’t yell at my kids. I don’t make judgements out of anger or cause them physical harm. But anger comes in many forms. No, I don’t yell at my kids. I take the high road, I use silence and distance. And that, my friends, is no better.
If we are to parent graciously, as God commands, we need to better understand what is causing our anger. Why are we becoming angry, lashing out at our children (no matter the form it takes) and causing damage in our homes? And what does God want us to do about it?
Triggers, written by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake, is a lovely book written to help all mammas Biblically overcome their anger, seeking God’s help in restoring their homes and relationships with their children.
Triggers is broken down into two detailed sections: External Triggers and Internal Triggers. We are being shown two essential truths. What our kids are doing that makes us go bonkers. And, what is going on within our own hearts which is causing us to sin.
Among the most poignant for me were the chapters on Backtalk, Disrespect, and the Ignoring of Instruction. Amber Lia and Wendy Speake gently reminded me that my anger stemmed from my feeling of being powerless. I was angry due to heartache. How dare my family take my heart and abuse it!
“My intentions were good, my words were joy-filled, my plan was love, and my offering generous. But when I realized, in no uncertain terms, that no one was listening to me… I broke down.”
~ Wendy Speake, Triggers
Other chapters which strike a chord among most moms include Exhaustion, Running Late, Lack of Personal Space, and Generational Habits/Patterns of Sin. Here, yet again, we are graciously reminded we cannot change the hearts of children; this is God’s work. What we can do, is draw closer to God; allowing Him to do a mighty work in us!
There is a difference between anger for the sake of pride and righteous indignation. Even God became angry when He saw the sin of His people. (Romans 1:18) No, the sin is not in being angry. The mistake is in what we allow to anger us; the sin lies in how we respond to the emotion within. (Ephesians 4:26)
No, I don’t yell at my children. As I mentioned earlier, I tend to withdraw. While this might initially reduce stress levels, and allow time for the Lord to do a work in each of our hearts, this can also be a danger zone. I need to remember God wants our family to be united; as one. We cannot do this if mommy does not wish to even be in the same room as her children! If there is a need, pulling myself out of the situation – for a time – might be of benefit. However, I need to be using this time to pray; asking the Lord to do a work in my own heart, seeking assistance to guard my tongue, and planning ways to restore the broken bond. I need to put pride aside and remember that just as I do, my children need grace and mercy.
Triggers is an excellent book! If you have yet to nab a copy for yourself, may I highly recommend you do so today. You will be blessed to know you aren’t alone and encouraged to seek Christ above all. Triggers is well thought out, full of Biblical wisdom, and uplifting to the end. You won’t want to skip this read!
“… this book is not just for moms of little ones. It’s for all moms who are ready for a change, ready to replace angry reactions with gentle biblical responses…”
~ Brooke McGlothlin
Chime In!: Is anger an issue you’re working on overcoming in Christ? Share with us Bible verses the Lord has given you in your mission to becoming a graceful parent.