Dating Our Children

Dating_Our_ChildrenHaving four children, homeschooling, running a home-based business, and serving in ministry, it can be difficult to find quality time with each child. A few years ago, the Lord showed me the perfect way to build up our relationships: dating my children!

Every Saturday, the children and I head over to my mother-in-law’s house for a visit. I drop off three of my children (who excitedly run into the house and announce they are ready for fun and food), then the fourth child and I head on out for a date.

When on our dates, I usually allow my children to decide what they would like to do. Sometimes we go for a walk or visit antique stores. At other times, we have gone for fancy tea parties or ice cream. It doesn’t matter where we go, what matters is that we are spending time together.

I think one of the greatest joys of our “dates” is getting to know who my children are. I am often surprised by their observations and questions about life. I have learned so much
about their dreams, their fears, and their struggles. We often share how we’re each doing in life, how we could be praying for one another, and what the Lord has been teaching us through His Word. Here I can focus on just one child for that limited space of time, assuring them they matter and are remembered.

I pray that the Lord would use these days to strengthen our relationships and unify our family. That He would use these times to teach me about my children and how I can better minister to their needs. I pray my children will look back on these days fondly, remembering all the little things that really meant nothing and yet everything.

“Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord.”
~ Ephesians 5:19

📢 Chime In!: How do you “date” your children?

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3 thoughts on “Dating Our Children

  1. I also have four children, and this is a great idea! Thanks for sharing. A few questions: Do you budget for this, and how much is a good amount to set aside for this? I’m sure it will be different for everyone. Is there a limit? And, how long do you normally spend on the dates?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I try to budget for our dates as best as possible. I’ll usually plan for one costly date per month ($20-40); picking one child per month to use this expense on, changing from month to month. The other three I budget for a small treat, approximately $5 in amount. This way each child has a more elaborate date every four months.

      Usually we are out for two hours. I do not wish to leave my mother-in-law stranded with three kiddos for an entire day. We have been known to go a little over, but two hours is my goal.

      I ought to mention this routine does change, on occasion, when seasons require it. December is a hard month to ‘date’, as we are overrun with activity. We also go through seasons of budget crunching, being self-employed and all.

      Truthfully, even if the dates lasted only half an hour and we only went on a walk, our children would be pleased. They merely wish the one-on-one time with us, knowing we took enough care to set them apart for a time.

      May the Lord give each of us wisdom in how to best reach our children’s hearts, and meet them where they are.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This is something that we moms sometimes forget. We need to make time to just BE with our kids, get to know them as individuals and be genuinely be “in the moment”. Sometimes we tend to think that because we are always with our kids, we are already giving time to them. But more often than not, the reality is we’re so busy w/ all the stuff that we need to do that we forget to stop and savor the moment.

    We do date our kids but not in any fancy way. Sometimes we just go to the beach and we’ll do anything that they want to do. For me, I consider that as a date. Do check out my blog, I wrote about one of our “beach dates” there.

    Liked by 1 person

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