So You Think I’m Wrong? (Personal Advice on Offering Objections)

So You Think I'm Wrong? (Personal Advice on Offering Objections)What should be our inspiration for offering correction when we see someone stepping out of line? A heart to see them right with God. A desire for righteousness. If you think our family is making a wrong move, here’s some personal advice on how to offer your objections to our family’s life choices. Hint: It doesn’t involve yelling!

Before overwhelming us with a verbal attack, here are a few solid tips on how to approach us when you think we might be stepping out of line:

Pray for Us – Before approaching us, ask yourself this question, “Is this Biblical wisdom or just your humble opinion?” If the Lord is prompting you to speak to us, kindly pray about not only what you’re going to say, but how to say it. Pray for us as well, that we would receive your helpful advice as it was intended. We, too, want this discussion to go well. It starts with humility and a desire to seek the Lord in all things.

Speak With Us – Please read that again, carefully. Don’t yell at us. Don’t talk at us. Don’t talk over us. And don’t talk about us to other people. We would love to work this out and resolve the issue, but we can’t do that if we don’t speak. Nicely.

Ask Questions – Odds are you have some questions, and we’d love to answer them for you. We understand not everyone is going to agree with our choices and you may want clarity on why we’ve gone in this direction. Just ask, we love sharing why we do what we do!

Show Respect – While we appreciate your good intentions towards our family, these children are our responsibility. You don’t have to agree with our choices, but you ought to respect them. Mocking us, muttering complaints under your breath, and posting on social media is not the answer.

Believe it or not, we appreciate your advice and questions. Our goal is to constantly grow and increase in wisdom. Maybe the Lord wants to use you, and your words are His tool. However, please consider we might already be following God’s plan and doing our best to be faithful. We don’t make our choices lightly or without care. Believe it or not, a great deal of thought, time, energy, and research goes into what we do and how we do it. It might look a little odd to you, but this is a grand adventure and we take it very seriously.  

May we be inspired to not only give instruction with gentleness, but receive instruction in humility; may we direct people towards Christ and His desires, not our own personal opinions and ideals; and may we be granted strength to stand against those who violently oppose.

(Please note: We are not discussing issues of abuse today. Such difficult situations would call for immediate action, not debate. Instead, we’re referring to differences in parenting decisions such as education, discipline, health choices, and the like.)

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5-6

Your Turn!: How do you handle unsolicited advice?

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3 thoughts on “So You Think I’m Wrong? (Personal Advice on Offering Objections)

  1. I struggle to respond well to “trolls” and “smack-talk”. Coming from the place I come from, when an unnecessary conflict arises, it involves restraining myself from an almost hulk-like, instantaneous reversion back into street fighter mode. I’ve had to work extremely hard on my own responses over the years, prayerfully applying facts like, ‘ranting hurts your argument’ & ‘whip statements’ only dig you into a hole that’s difficult to get out of.

    The downside to this is that I can come across as being too nice or generous to my opponents, but that’s just another area where I’ve learnt to get better in the way we communicate, and with that a sharper, more, my-confidence-is-in-God, way to assert with firmness any hard won conviction; as Paul instructs the Church ‘don’t be people-pleasers….speak truth in love’.

    This comes with a footnote, which recognizes that there are people who’ll just argue for the sake of getting a response. They’ll do so to create the answer they want or poke you until you prove their point; or break in exhaustion, because they’ve managed to twist your words to the point where they’re able to make it appear as though you are agreeing with them (cross-examination).

    When I discern that this where the opponent wants to take the conversation, it’s time to wrap up the discussion (debate and move on. They have no intention of listening to your point of view and probably never did. Whether this is in relation to homeschool technique, theology etc.

    Liked by 1 person

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