Will Someone Help Me, Please?

Will Someone Help Me, Please?I had gotten myself into this mess. Needing help but not asking for it. No one else was to blame for me standing in a kitchen by my lonesome, washing dishes, staring at a dirty floor, and thinking on the multitude of tasks I still had to finish before getting to relax for the night. I wanted to scream out, “Will Someone Help Me, Please?” Instead, I stood in my kitchen stewing and that can only lead to trouble.

I do this to myself far too often. For a myriad of reasons, I allow myself to become overwhelmed by responsibility, then look for somewhere to cast the blame when I should be reorienting my thinking and asking the Lord for help.

Praying About My Perspective – I am reminded of Pastor Lusko’s words of wisdom. We should not pray for what we will not pay for. In other words, I shouldn’t pray for God to use me, then complain about feeling used. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by the cares and responsibilities of this world, this is the perfect time to pray. God knows what I can handle and how to help me move forward. I only need to reach out and ask for wisdom.

p.s. I also need to be on the lookout for those pesky messages the enemy will send my way as means of attack. He wants me to feel used, abused, and overlooked. He wants me to think of myself as undervalued; for my pride to take over and anger to take hold. Why should I give in to his foolishness and let him win?

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew – Truth be told, I often find myself in this situation because I have overstepped my bounds and gone outside of God’s will. I said, “Yes” far too often or added more to my to-do list than anyone asked of me. I need to learn to say, “No” and/or limit my tasks for a given day. I am not Superwoman.

Swallowing My Pride – Because of that Superwoman tag, I often fail to reach out due to my own silly pride. Somewhere along the line, I got it into my silly head seeking assistance was weak. I can do it on my own. This is my job, after all. If I ask for help, I’m not earning my keep. Unfortunately, I buy into this lie far too often. This is pride talking, and it needs to be quiet.

Asking For Help – Why am I in the kitchen, bathroom, laundry room… by myself? I didn’t ask for help! Instead of making this a fun, family time – one where we can laugh over chores together, while making memories – I pridefully told everyone I could do this by myself. Now, my family is off enjoying a game and I’m all alone working. Together we could have had fun and gotten the job done faster. Together we could be playing after the satisfaction of cleaning up. But, it starts with me and a simple question.

If I’m feeling as if I’m overworked and needing aid, it’s more than likely because I allowed myself to fall into this trap. There is danger in thinking I can do everything by myself; that I don’t need help. It can also be a problem if I am unable to ask for help, either due to pride or embarrassment. I need to be open to receiving help, communicate my need for assistance, understand this doesn’t make me week, and graciously accept an offer of help.

Through God’s leading and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, I am learning to swallow my pride and ask for support. In prayer, I will bow my head, asking to be reminded of the true heart of ministry and help to keep my eyes focused on His vision for my family. Will someone help me? Yes; if only I ask!

“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”
~ John 14:13-14

Your Turn!: Do you have trouble asking for help?

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Help Them; Don’t Help Them

I was pretty sure I could reach her in time, should she need my immediate assistance. We’d never done this before. It was a huge leap of faith on my part and a huge step in independence for her. Instead of mommy doing the cooking; the girl was on her own.

There comes a point in life, when we do an injustice by constantly safeguarding our children. Life lessons are learned as much from failure as they are from success. We need to afford them the opportunities to help themselves and teach them to stand on their own two feet. Now, this is not to say we immediately toss our children to the wolves with no preparation! That would just be foolishness. No; I think we definitely need to prepare them, train them, and supervise them for a given time. All the same, at some point, there needs to come a time when we step back and see what they do on their own.

N7_May_2009 If we constantly hold their hand and walk them through every step of their lives, our children will never have the necessary skills to be adults. They will lack the confidence to fulfill their God-given roles, the skills to meet those roles, the wisdom to perfect those roles, and the motivation to do more. By the time my children reach adulthood, they should have learned to manage their own households. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, organizing, driving, money management, and more should all be skills they no longer need me for.

Yes; she might be eating slightly burned grilled cheese for a little bit. Yes; he might foolishly spend his money on items which have no value. Yes; they might choose to wait until the last-minute to get a job done. Those life lessons are important though; they will learn through trial and error. Incidentally, these are great learning opportunities.

Instead of me pointing out what they did wrong, I gently prod them to find the reason out for themselves. What did they think went wrong? Should they have lowered the fire on the stove or perhaps flipped the bread sooner? Did he do his research before making that purchase or make an impulse buy? By not immediately jumping in to help or point out the error, I am allowing my children to learn and come to logical conclusions on their own.

Does this mean they will never call me or ask for advice? Of course not! All of us need assistance from time to time; that is life. What it doesn’t mean is that they are making the same mistakes at forty that they made at fourteen. If they are, perhaps the failure lies in me.

Time to Chime In: How do you help your children help themselves?

“When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” – I Corinthians 13:11

A Charity Case

Charity… the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need; kindness and tolerance in judging others.

Charity can be hard. Oh sure, on occasion we might be willing to dip into our pockets and throw some extra change at a person in need, but committed giving or the giving of more than our money can often be a challenge.

Teaching children charity can be even more of a struggle. Money is a rare commodity in Teaching Charitytheir little worlds; so when they grab a hold of a few extra coins, giving them away can be a struggle.

I think passing along the value of charity is important though. It goes far beyond the giving of actual currency and deals with the matter of the heart.

When we are charitable, we are helping. Charity means we are no longer thinking of our own good, we are choosing to put someone else before ourselves and edifying that other person.

Often when we think of charity, we imagine organizations or ministries which require financial assistance. My goal is to encourage our children to see past organized charity and instill charity into every aspect of their lives.

If charity is helping and kindness while making judgements, then charity should be a portion of our daily living. Every moment of our day should be filled with tenderness, sympathy, and benevolence. We ought to look for ways to reach out and help those in need, no matter how small the act.

We ought to be charitable when handling matters within our own homes. Mommy needs to be charitable when correcting lessons and training her children. Children need to be charitable when their siblings choose to fight or make mistakes.

While I absolutely encourage and train my children to help out those in need and give financially to organized charitable groups, I just as strongly want to encourage daily charitable activity.

When we have a heart of compassion, the willingness to part with our hard-earned cash will be that much easier.

How are you helping to instill charity in your family?

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” – Colossians 3:12

The High School Handbook

Our oldest daughter is in sixth grade this coming August. Not one to wait until the last-minute, I wanted to spend some time this summer reading up on Junior and Senior High. I want to be fully prepared for what lies ahead. I want to know what I need now so that I am not panicking at the last-minute, worrying if I am doing something correctly or not.

To this end, our ISP principal highly recommended The High School Handbook by Mary Schofield. In The High School Handbook, Ms. Schofield does an excellent job of laying the groundwork for Jr. and Sr. High. She provides a helpful, step-by-step process to organizing your students workload, as well as ideas on how each can be implemented to their fullest. She explains, with clear reasoning, why each step is taken and how it benefits both your student and yourself. To further assist you with each step, Ms. Schofield has graciously placed helpful sample forms throughout the book, showing how her family has organized each area. She has also included blank forms for you to copy and use at your own disposal, making your job even easier. 

Ms. Schofield covers every area of Jr. and Sr. High that you could possibly imagine. If you are unsure of how to organize your classes, this book will help. If you are unsure which classes are needed to attend a university, this book will help. Need tips on grading, courses standards, transcripts, and college? This book is definitely the one for you. From Language Arts and Arithmetic, to Driver’s Ed and Work Permits, this book has something for everyone.

On a personal level, I am extremely grateful that I chose to read the book this summer. Our daughter is still in elementary school (being that we are not including sixth grade as part of “middle school”); had I waited until the summer before junior high, I might have stressed myself out with the amount of paperwork and organizing that needs to be done. However, having read the book a full year in advance, I have plenty of time to prepare whatever forms might be necessary. I have the time to systematically lay out classes and to talk with my daughter about where she feels the Lord is leading her. I very much appreciated the sections on Missionary Opportunities, Apprenticeship, and College at Home, as each of these areas are of particular interest to our family.

Our HS Outline

The High School Handbook is highly recommended for everyone with a child going into Jr. and/or Sr. High. Even if you don’t homeschool, it will help you to better understand what classes your child should be taking in their studies. It will help you prepare them for ACT and SAT exams, College Applications, and other areas common to all students. I highly recommend this book. Don’t wait until your child is about to start their higher education, help them now. You won’t regret it!

For those of you with children already in Junior or Senior High, was there a particular book(s) that you found helpful in organizing the chaos? I would love to delve into a few more books. The more ideas, the better!