I just don’t get it. I did the research. I planned appropriately. I was so excited to make this event happen. Yet here I sit with my day in shambles and confusion filling my mind. Some days, no matter how hard I try, things go awry. It’s enough to make me wish life were a formula and all I needed to do was plug in the right building blocks. Then I’d always get the results I’m looking for. Wouldn’t I?
Instead of a geometry formula – one which never changes and can be depended upon – I am often faced with daily problems which rival any algebra equation. There are a multitude of operations, the order of which is important, and unseen variables which keep popping up. To make matters more confusing, even when I think I might have solved things correctly, something pops up which throws me right back into the thick of things. It doesn’t help that some of those factors in my equation have freewill. They bounce around my equation at whim, constantly causing me to re-evaluate where I stand and what my final outcome might be. Sometimes they clump together, making my eyes cross. Other times, they hide until the last-minute. Just when I think I’ve gotten it figured out, they jump out and like to watch me scramble. Other times, other times, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t figure it out.
Yet even as I sit here thinking on life’s uncertainty and wondering where I keep going wrong, I have to wonder.
What if those pesky variables are really a blessing in disguise? It’s those little unexpected surprises which often lead to something beautiful. Things I never would have planned and yet they fill me with goodness as I marvel at God’s work. The bouncing variables keep me flexible and growing. Through these circumstances I am forced to grow and become more than I would have if left with a rigid formula.
What if this equation called today is God’s mercy and grace? The Father knows in His infinite wisdom that I have a tendency toward a desire to be in control. If left to my own devices and my rigid formula, I might grow to depend upon my own strength and work. Perhaps forgetting God’s goodness all together. As He carefully places these changes in my perfect plan, He is reminding me He is boss and not me. He gently causes me to remember that without Him this is not possible and I need Him. He forces me to abandon my plan and gaze upon His own. His plan is always far better than mine.
Looking back on the day, I still shake my head. No, it’s not what I had in mind. I am tired and a little empty. My idea of what the day should have looked like is in shambles. But I am no longer confused. No matter how hard I try, life is not a formula. I do not have the ability to rearrange variables nor adjust freewill to fit my desires. Instead, I rejoice in what the Lord gave us and trust He is in control.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
~ Isaiah 41:10
Your Turn!: What helps you refocus and relax after an unplanned, crazy day?