The Princess & The Kiss

The Princess & The KissYears ago, my family was introduced to a wonderful book. It was girlie, it was cute, and it helped instill the value of keeping oneself pure.

The Princess & The Kiss is a delightful book which has entertained my girls ever since we were given this beautiful gift and it continues to minister to them even today.

The Princess & The Kiss tells the story of a young princess who is courted by many men. Each seeks to show her how wonderful he is, only to prove how unworthy a suitor stands before her.

With each passing man, the princess reaffirms her kiss be saved. Through much prayer and seeking, the princess finally finds the man who is deserving of her kiss and in the most  unlikely of places!

There is so much I appreciate about this lovely story. I respect the author’s careful observation of those men who were wrong for the princess and what specifically she should look for. I valued the constant reminders that her kiss was of utmost value and should be saved. I was thankful the princess and her parents had such a close bond; a loving relationship was showed and appreciated.

My girls enjoy having their pop read this story to them. He is hilarious when he does voices for each character. He makes it a fun read, while keeping the focus where it belongs.

When my girls were very little, we were content with merely reading the story. I think it must have been read at least once a night for the first few months and, even now, it is pulled down from its place on the shelf to delight us again and again.

Now that a few of my girls are maturing into young ladies, I think we are ready for the next step. The Princess & The Kiss has a life lessons booklet which accompanies the story; guiding both mother and daughter in helpful conversations which reaffirm the foundational principle of purity.

I am excited to be able to share this time with my daughters, helping them better understand why they should respect themselves and the gift of their first “kiss”. I am excited to share with them the blessings of a rightly chosen spouse and a Godly marriage.

While being courted and thinking about marriage might seem a long way off, it is never too early to start teaching the principle of purity. Even the littlest of girls can begin by knowing which characteristics make a good man and which should be shunned.

How in-depth we choose to take the conversation will depend on the Lord’s leading and each child’s maturity, but on some level each child can still be taught the foundations.

I admire how one group of ladies took the idea of life lessons and created a Princess & The Kiss club! Each young lady was accompanied by her mother. In group, they discussed various topics about how the Lord wanted them to view not only their bodies, but the idea of marriage.

Upon completion of the life lessons, each young lady was presented with a certificate and necklace, complete with charm box. In each box was a diamond, given by her parents. The diamond represented her kiss. The ideal was for her to keep her diamond sealed in the charm box until she should become engaged. Then, and only then, would the diamond be removed from the necklace and given to her fiance to be used in her wedding ring.

Isn’t that a beautiful idea?! Not only will that little lady remember her special time with her mother, but be given a special gift which is a visual reminder of her lessons.

I think I will begin these lessons with my oldest girl this summer and see how things progress. I look forward to the time we will spend together and the lessons we will share.

At what age did you start discussing purity with your children?

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No Kiss Me, No Kiss Me!

T and Mommy

My oldest girl when she was just a few months old.

When I was a very little girl, it seems I had an extremely close relationship with my father. He would snatch me up, tickle me with his mustache, and try to give me kisses. In response, I would giggle endlessly and scream out, “No kiss me, no kiss me!” Little did I know that my father would walk out of my life when I was only four years old, never to kiss me again.

Growing up, my mother did her best to be affectionate with my brother and I. We held hands while walking, we hugged, and we would occasionally sleep all together in one bed. As we got older though, the affection seemed less and further between on all our parts. Life became busy and we focused on other things.

Through junior high and high school, I began to look for an outlet; a place where my desire for affection would be gratified. While I can say that I remained pure during all of my schooling, that doesn’t mean I was completely innocent.

I liked being around guys who were willing to pay attention to me. I looked for excuses to give hugs and be close to someone. I wanted to know that I truly mattered to someone, that I was worthy of their time and effort.

Little Man and Mommy

My son when he was about a year old.

Jump to now… I am still a very affectionate person (much to my husband’s delight). I love to be held, hugged, and touched. I have found a guy who loves to show me how much he cares and in turns loves for me to show him.

Now, how does this at all relate to my kids? Simply this… I have known a great deal of women (and men) who have lacked affection in their lives; either from their parents or their spouses! The interesting factor is that generally the lack of affection stems from one place; CHILDHOOD!

It caused my husband and I to think. Would our children go looking for affection, if our home was filled with it? Would they feel the need to date at such a young age, if they were constantly being hugged and kissed?

While my mother was very affectionate with us as children, we were not as affectionate as teenagers (which is not entirely my mother’s fault; we probably didn’t initiate either). Why is it we often forget that teenagers need hugs too? Why do we allow them to pull away from us, instead of pursuing our children’s hearts?

All the GirlsI want to be purposeful about gaining the affection of my children. So, while they are young, I snatch them up and cuddle them. I find ways to tickle them, kiss them, rub their arms, pat their heads, gently tug their braids, sit cheek to cheek, and other lovely things of that nature.

When my children get older, there may be boundaries that they decide to set in place (“No kissing me in front of my friends, mom!”), but that will not prevent me from purposefully seeking them out. Whether they deny it or not, I think they will love being held and hugged. I think they will enjoy being cuddled, tickled, and kissed.

I pray that my children would not just know that we love them, but feel our love. I pray that my children would not feel the desire (as I did) for outside affection, but that they would gain all they need from our home.

Yes, one day my children will desire a Godly husband or wife (and they should!), but prayerfully it will be because that is the direction the Lord is leading them. It won’t be for lack of love and affection. It won’t be because their lives were missing something. It won’t be the need for attention. It will be for all the right reasons; a desire to share their lives with someone else and create a family of their own. Playing at the Beach

It occurs to me, as I type, that my brother and I are now grown and gone from my mother’s house. I wonder if she ever feels lonely or lacks affection, living by herself. I need to be more purposeful in my love for my mother; hugging and kissing more often.

Perhaps this will teach my children to remain affectionate no matter their age. So that when they are grown and gone, they will still remember to come back and hug their dear, old mom and pop. Perhaps they will one day repeat my words, but with a different meaning, “No; kiss me. No; kiss me.

Are you purposeful in your affections towards your children? How so?