“I’m sorry, honey. I’ve just got too much to do right now. I’d like to join you, but I can’t. Are you mad?”
Being married to an illustrator who works from home is tons of fun. It also means we sometimes have to make challenging decisions. For instance, which is more important: My husband joining us on that awesome field trip or working to pay for the awesome field trip?
Recently, I listened to a podcast called Building Relationships. On the show, Dr. Chapman was discussing just this dilemma in his own household. He asked his wife this honest question, “Would you rather have the $50 this job will make, or the 2 hours of my time?” While our first response might seem obvious. (Who would be so shallow as to choose money over time?) Life is often not this simple.
Perhaps our family is in need of the finances. Work might be especially slow and the finances would be a blessing. Maybe this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity, and the job is worth the loss of time.
On the flip side, I might just think our time is of more value and am willing to pass on the few dollars this job could bring. But, are there limits to the value I’m putting on our time? What if the job paid $200? Would I be willing to rethink the question?
In our home, this question pops up quite a bit. My husband’s work schedule – chaotic and sporadic at times – must always be taken into account when planning homeschooling events. As much as possible he loves to join in. However, we also understand there are limits.
I love the heart behind Dr. Chapman’s message. Be grateful for both – financial provision and quality time – but learn to evaluate each situation accordingly. Don’t be afraid to choose what’s best for your family!
“To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Time to Chime In: Right now, where you’re at; would you rather have the $50 or two hours of your spouse’s time?
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I think everyone at one point or another has run into this question or something similar. I know I have more often then not. I work from home as well as tale care of the kids. My husband works outside and whereas its not always convenient he tries to come when he can. Most of the time he can’t for various reasons…no vacation, job has to be completed…etc. Financially has been the question alot too. We always try to evaluate every situation as it comes up instead of a one size fits all approach. It makes life a bit easier.
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Life is full of different seasons!
Sometimes choosing the quality time is necessary and sometimes choosing the finances is.
All in all, if we’re seeking the Lord all along the way He will better equip us to make the right choices at the right times!
Good post!
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A definite topic of discussion that becomes more difficult with a husband who is a salesman on 100% commission, any time off is a potential money loss, but not guaranteed as a money maker. We definitely prioritize, but are also lucky that he works nontraditional hours with some day hours free each week. We’ve gotten so much better at figuring this out and it’s no longer stressful.
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Some great points here. And I too think it depends on the moment. Time together, to me, would always be better. If only the bills wouldn’t keep coming in…
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Oh, if they only would…
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A thoughtful post. It would be fascinating to see how we how decide on such issues and our reason. One dilemma we face is not necessarily making the $50 but spending the $50 on one of two activities or items available to us. Our $50, if you will, is taking a day to visit our son in college or addressing the needs of the second son, whose youth hides the wisdom in seeing his brother. We shall be visiting our first son!
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That’s wonderful! Enjoy your visit.
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Our family is needing to make some very important decisions based on this very thing. Not so much due to need, but opportunities. Your post couldn’t have home at a more appropriate time.
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I love how the Lord works, don’t you?
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I do
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My husband too is an illustrator, we can’t afford to not do a job for the sake of the time together so he generally forgoes sleep for that time together instead! He ends up working extremely late to get the jobs done so he can take days out with us or just play with the boys in the day
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A common issue in our home as well. Late nights, lack of sleep, and crazy schedules are a regular part of our routine.
May the Lord bless our husbands for all they do!
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