UnReachable

I’d tried to help, really I had. I had explained the situation to the best of my ability, tried to help him understand the circumstances, and even gone so far as to instruct him in how he should have responded. Unfortunately, no matter what I said or did, my son was a bundle of frustration. Then, it occurred to me. There was nothing I could do to reach him, this was a situation only God could handle.

It took me a long time to finally understand this concept. After all, I am the parent, right? I’m supposed to have the answers; I’m supposed to be able to manage my kids. Shouldn’t I know how to reach my child and help them turn their behavior and attitudes around? Was this some kind of lack in me?

What a failed to take into account was two things. One, these children, like myself, have free will. I can lead them to the truth, but I cannot force it upon them. They have to choose for themselves the right and good. Second, these are not just my children, they are God’s children and He understand them better than I ever could.

No matter how good a job I think I am doing, or trying to do, I am only human. My knowledge and experience only extends so far. Instead of drilling into my children’s heads what they are supposed to be doing and trying to force a change upon their attitudes, my best option is to do what is truly right… leave it at the feet of Christ.

While my children’s hearts, for that moment, might be unreachable to me, they are never unreachable to Christ. Where I am unable, God is able. Where I am weak, He is strong. Why would I continue to trust in my own strength and wisdom, when I could rely on God to do the work in my child’s heart?

Does this mean I never attempt to correct their behavior? Of course not! We instruct, train when needed, and disciple them as any parent should. However, we have our limits. In the midst of the chaos, hurt, and anger, we lift our children before the Lord, praying He will touch their hearts and help them see the truth of the situation. We also pray He would give us wisdom in how to best reach them and restore the broken bond. If we have done all we can and still our children seem unreachable, we continue to pray the Lord would be doing a work in them, leading them back to a right relationship with Himself.

This is the heart of what we do, really. Yes; we teach our children as homeschooling parents. We instruct them, raise them, and help them become the adults they need to become. But, the heart of all we do is this: to bring them into a right relationship with Christ. If, at the end of day, we have done everything else and somehow missed this point, what we’ve accomplished is meaningless.

“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?” – Mark 8:36

May this encourage each of us. When we our children’s hearts seem unreachable to us, they are never out of God’s reach.

Time to Chime In: Is there a special prayer you say over your children when they are frustrated? Please share it with us and encourage other homeschooling families who struggle with reaching their children’s hearts.

Heartbroken

I read a post yesterday that broke my heart. The young girl was speaking out about her homeschooling experience and her plot on life.

(Normally I would post a link to her blog, but I cannot, in good conscience, do so with this post. The language that she was using was astounding.)

In short, this young person was complaining about her online schooling. Her family has recently relocated and her parents have opted to use a virtual academy. The virtual academy is not to her liking and she is struggling with learning. She is apparently very dissatisfied with her lack of social outlet and is very much frustrated with, what she views as, her mother’s lack of understanding and follow through.

So what was wrong with the post exactly? Perhaps the girl is justified in her frustration. Perhaps the virtual academy really isn’t working. Perhaps she does need to meet some new friends and get involved in something outside of the home. Those are all valid reasons to be upset and they should be addressed.

No, my problem was the attitude behind the post. The mother was called every name in the book (no kidding!) and was accused of being a liar. The young girl, very obviously, had more going on than a lack of enthusiasm for her curriculum.

It all seems to boil down to one thing… lack of relationship.

If her parents spoke with her about their choices and helped her understand, would she still feel this way? If she was free to speak with her parents, vent her frustrations and explain her needs, would she still feel this way? Do her parents have a history of not telling the truth or not following through with their promises?

I suppose it also got me thinking. Do my kids trust me? Am I true to my word? Do I fully explain why we do what we do and allow them to vent their frustrations, as long as they are respectful? Do we respect each other and have a good relationship?

My heart breaks for this young girl who is obviously in need of attention and help. I hope that her parents start to hear her, before it is too late and they have lost their daughter completely.

I pray that as my children grow older, they will never feel the way this girl does. I pray that our children’s needs are always met, that they can count on us no matter what, and that they feel comfortable in sharing their feelings.

What advice would you give this girl?