Anger Management

anger_managementBeing a kid is tough; no matter your age. You aren’t a baby, but aren’t quite able to do everything your mind can think up. Your coordination might still be developing, you’re learning new lessons and being given more responsibility. Now compound that with having not only a mom and a dad, but multiple siblings trying to help you, teach you, redirect you, and often discipline you. Even when they shouldn’t. Our children can get overwhelmed very quickly.

I can understand being upset, really I can. There are moments all of us become overwhelmed by the situation or our emotions get the better of us. What I can’t allow to happen is for this to become a habit or for our children to act out in their anger. Some healthy boundaries needed to be put in place.

While there are no fool-proof plans for helping someone overcome anger, I think there are some basic steps we can take toward reaching our goal.

Pray – Before I say a word, or attempt to work through the situation, I need to come to the Lord in prayer in order to ask for wisdom, patience, and the ability to help my child.

Understand the Problem – Until I diagnose the cause of someone’s anger, I cannot truly help them start to overcome it. I need to find the source and that will help lead us to the answer.

Walk Away From the Problem – If possible, I attempt to remove my child from the situation which is causing them to lose their cool. Sometimes just walking away for a moment helps clear the head.

Handle the Problem – It’s time to tackle the situation together. We talk, determine the best course of action, and move forward. This is a wonderful opportunity to encourage them see the problem from a different perspective – a Godly lesson, a practice in patience, etc. –  which facilitates a change of heart.

Deal with the Attitude – Sometimes the source of anger isn’t a situation, it is the heart of the person involved. There are various ways we have helped our kids deal with their attitudes: prayer, communication, time alone, and, when absolutely necessary, discipline.

Each day is a new opportunity for us to win the victory over our emotions. With every unique circumstance, we have the ability to develop a higher resistance to our own anger and choose to make the best decisions possible. It all starts with prayer and taking appropriate steps toward anger management.

We’re curious… Have any of your children struggled with anger? We’d love to hear how the Lord has given you wisdom in this area of parenting.

“’In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,…”
~  Ephesians 4:26

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Do Our Children Have Personal Property?

do_our_children_have_personal_propertyUh, oh. Here it comes. My son is eagerly recalling a memory from several years ago of playtime with his siblings, and I know exactly what is going to happen next. “Mom, whatever happened to that toy?” Just as I am about to remind them the particular item in question was meant for toddlers and they are no longer two, another of my children promptly announces I have more than likely gotten rid of it; as I am want to do. Now I ask you. Why would I keep it? They hadn’t touched it for years! It seemed reasonable to remove the item in question, at least to my way of thinking. My kids, however, consider this the perfect opportunity to remind me – yet again – that this needs to stop. Some things belong to them, and they should be included in the decision to have it given away. Well, perhaps they’re right.

In a home where six people live, work, run a business, homeschool, play and sleep, space can be an issue. From time to time, it’s essential to downsize and streamline our belongings; removing items we haven’t used in ages and perhaps making room for new resources to further our family adventures. I don’t think anyone in my family would dispute these facts. No, it’s the manner in which we minimize which is in question. I have to admit, they have a point.

It made sense when the children were little that I be the one to sift through our belongings, donating what could bless others and organizing what was essential. However, the older our children get, the more it becomes evident I need to step aside and allow my children to make some of these decisions for themselves. And there are some valid reasons why.

I am a minimalist. I like the bare essentials. If I haven’t used something in a while, if the piece is not functional, or if I am just plain, old tired of it; it goes. While this might seem like a good thing – and it can be – it can also work against me. I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten rid of something only to regret it six months later and curse my incessant need to minimize. Perhaps, just maybe, when it comes to my children’s things I might not be the best judge of what should stay and what should go.

My children need to learn this skill themselves. At some point, my kids need to learn the fine art of organization and minimizing. They might never pair-down to the extent I would, but neither can they rely on me to always do this for them. By purposefully setting aside time to do this as a family, they learn this skill for themselves and they have no fear something will be taken which has meaning to them.

My children have an emotional attachment. I see a bracelet my child has never worn. They see a well-loved, handmade gift from a friend. I see a doctor kit made for three-year-olds. They see a world of possibility, and childhood memories. Sometimes I don’t know which items my children have formed attachments to, and I would hate to give something away which I can never replace and has great meaning to them.

If I say it belongs to them, I need to mean what I say. How would I feel if a particular item suddenly went missing only to find it was given away without my permission? I would be hurt. My children are no different! Once something belongs to my children – whether bought or given – it belongs to them. Not me. I need to respect their right to keep that item or even get rid of it. It’s theirs. Personal property needs to be acknowledged.

It is essential to downsize from time to time. But these days re-organizing our home has become a group effort. Together we tackle our respective spaces and determine what absolutely must stay. I’m constantly amazed. You’d be surprised how motivated these children can be, cleaning better than I would have anticipated and often removing more than I would have dared. Items of value are stored with great care, and generosity is shown as they determine who would benefit from items they no longer need. Better yet, I don’t have to face accusations and our home is organized much faster than had I done this on my own. It’s an all-round win!

I’m curious, how do you tackle this tricky parenting choice?

“The earth is the LORD’S, and all it contains, The world, and those who dwell in it.”
~ Psalm 24:1

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When the Kids Know More Than We Do

when_the_kids_know_more_than_we_doIt’s happened. I knew such a time would come a time in my children’s learning adventure. I just didn’t plan for it to happen quite this soon. We have finally reached that point in life when areas of my children’s knowledge have surpassed my own.

If I’ve done things well I will begin to work myself ‘out of a job’. As a parent, especially a homeschooling parent, my goal is to raise a fully functioning adult; four of them, in fact. In raising independent learners, it was inevitable that at some point they might discover things I have yet to explore. What are parents to do when their children start to exceed their knowledge? How do we continue teaching them when they absorb facts faster than a sponge absorbs liquid?

Practice Humility

Pride is hard to overcome. We’ve spent years educating our children and they have the nerve to start telling us we’re wrong? They want to explain how things are done, when events happened, and impart newfound knowledge to us parents.

Sure, we could get upset with them for correcting our poor grammar and interrupting our lessons with more detail than we prepared. Or, we could make this a teachable moment. We need to be able to swallow our pride, accept that our children are eager to learn, and continue to teach.

Teach Humility

It’s wonderful to learn new things and impart that knowledge to others who might be interested. However, we also need to learn the right time and place to share. We need to learn how to share. While our children might have learned facts we haven’t, they still need to learn how to share with kindness, grace, gentleness, and humility.

Learning new things should not fill us with self-righteous pride and arrogance. If that is the case, you have increased your knowledge base, certainly, but have yet to increase in wisdom. Wisdom is by far the more important of the two.

Be Patient

When our children wish to share all the exciting new things they are learning, expressing their interest in the topic, they can often times exhaust our patience. We need to remember that our children are learning and loving the adventure. The surest way to kill their enthusiasm is to become frustrated with them, belittle them, or refuse to hear their thoughts. Be open to hearing them and listen with attention to what they are trying to say. You never know, you might enjoy the lesson!

Show Some Respect

There is a fine line between sharing newfound information and disrespectfully tossing around facts to belittle parents or others in authority positions. Again, the purpose of increasing in knowledge is not to lord it over another and make them feel small.

When our children share with us, and others, they need to be mindful that respect remains intact. They should respect the life experience the adult has, respect the feelings of the adult being spoken to, and respect the role the Lord has given that person in their life. Yes; they might have knowledge to share, but that doesn’t give them an excuse to be rude to those around them.

Encourage Growth

It can be uncomfortable to admit our children know more about a certain topic than we do. But, to my way of thinking, this shows what a good job we have done as parents. Our children have been well-taught; they know how to find information for themselves, comprehend what they are reading, and are motivated to keep doing so. We ought to give ourselves a pat on the back and enjoy the fact that our children are learning, and we didn’t have to do a thing. Encourage them to keep up the good work. Encourage them to keep sharing what they find with the family. Encourage their love of learning.

Continue Teaching

The fact that our kids might know a little more than we do in a particular area should not prevent us from continuing on with the remainder of their learning. If we feel out of our depth, it might be time to find other ways to assist them. However, this should not discourage us from trying our best and moving forward. Things might need to change, but it doesn’t mean we need to give up. Keep pressing forward!

More or Just Different?

I’ve teased that my kids know more than I do, but, in truth, they don’t. They might have learned a few cool, new facts. They might remember dates better than I. What they’ve learned is not more, just different. Life experience and some Godly wisdom are on my side.

If your children are avid learners, take heart; you’ve done a great job in your parenting. Do not be discouraged when your children spout facts you never knew, read more books than you can, program an app that makes your head swim, and/or cook better than you on any given day. Their increase is a direct reflection of the hard work and dedication you’ve put into their education. Be proud of what your children are accomplishing, and train them to use it wisely.

“Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’”
~ I Peter 5:5

Your Turn!: If applicable, in what area has your child surpassed you in knowledge?

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Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
– John 14:27

Let_Not_Your_HeartI am a worrier. Lord forgive me, but this is true. If our routine’s off by just a smidgen, I start to sweat. Mass amounts of responsibility sit on my shoulders and I start to wonder if I can handle it all. The kids are getting out of hand, acting out, and I start wondering if I’m failing as a parent. My choices in curriculum and social activities begin to weigh on my mind. And these are just the small worries.

If work is slow, paying bills is going to be tight because we are self-employed. My kids need glasses, clothes, food, and so much more. New laws in our state might force regulations upon us that usurp our parental authority. The list could go on.

It is in my nature to worry about everything and anything. I worry about having dinner finished at a good hour; using too much laundry soap; stretching our budget; whether or not I should have said those words to that person; and if I am ‘enough’ for the people who depend on me. I worry. I worry. I worry. This is who I am… on my own.

Ah! But that changes everything doesn’t it? What I am on my own cannot compare to what I am in Christ. In Christ, I am a new creation. (II Cor. 5:17) My old nature is constantly battling with who Christ is trying to help me become. I can easily slip back into a pattern of old habits, allowing myself to be overwhelmed by life; forgetting Who is in control. My emotions war with the Holy Spirit who is trying to comfort me, offering me peace during times of trial.

Overwhelmed by Emotion

If gone unchecked, emotions can sometimes overwhelm; clouding our minds and paralyzing us. We cannot see the truth for the feelings standing in the way. We have allowed reason to fall by the wayside and allowed our hearts to dictate our current state of mind.

And yet, we are reminded in Jeremiah 17:9 that our hearts are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. We are not to be ruled by our emotions or the turning of our hearts. What we feel is not to be our focus, but, rather, what is true.

What Is True?

The truth, as we are reminded in John 14, is that we have been given a spirit of peace. Not just any peace, peace given by God Himself! We have the God-given ability to accept this peace and move forward, but we have to choose to do so. God will not force His peace upon us. He will not shove this peace down our throats. He will not beg us to take it. We must choose to accept His gift willingly.

Let Not Your Heart…

Our emotions are not going to gain control of themselves. We need to be proactive about not letting our emotions control us. We need to rely on the Lord and ask Him to remove this stress and fill us with His peace. We need to trust He is going to see us through.

This does not mean He will always meet our needs in the way we expect; sometimes He doesn’t! Christians die, go hungry, and are persecuted – we are told to expect this (John 15:20) – instead we ask that He see us through the trial and come out of this stronger. We accept that God is in control.

On my own, I am a worrier. In Christ, I am learning to have peace; peace which surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:7). My friends, let not your heart be troubled. Instead, accept the gift our Lord has freely given. Peace which fills our empty hearts, calms our sea of emotions, and confounds the unbeliever. May we choose to accept the gifts Christ so willingly died to give us and enter into a life well lived.

Your Turn!: When worried, I find it helps to pray and reorient my focus. What helps you when emotions seem to hold sway?

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May I Take a Break Now?

may_i_take_a_break_now

“Who said you could sit down? Just look around you. I’m sure there is laundry you could be doing. Surely there are floors you haven’t mopped, messes which you could be cleaning, and activities you should be planning. If you must sit, I should see a planner in front of you, or, at the very least, a piece of curriculum you’re reviewing. Didn’t you know you aren’t allowed to take breaks?”

I wonder what gave my brain the idea that sitting was unacceptable. Why must I always feel the need to ‘produce’ something, and constantly be on the go? It’s taken me quite some time to realize that relaxing can be just as valuable as working. In fact, sometimes, doing nothing is the best thing I could be doing.

When I am constantly on the go I run the risk of overworking myself; making myself of use to no one. It is when I sit in quiet contemplation I am better able hear the voice of the Lord, renewing my strength and increasing in wisdom. I return from a place of rest prepared to serve my family and continue in the ministry to which I have been called.

The most difficult challenge is taking breaks when my husband is present and working hard. When everyone else is resting, I am less inclined to push myself as hard. But, if he is going to be working, shouldn’t I be working, too? Ironically, my husband often thinks I do too much and ought to relax more often. Why can’t I just sit and enjoy the movie and leave the dishes for later? If the kids are finished with school, why don’t I keep him company while he’s illustrating his latest project? If left unchecked, my lack of rest can become a point of frustration.

Speaking of my kids. What am I teaching them by constantly being on the go? They learn by watching me, and I don’t want them growing up with the mindset that constant activity is a necessity or that their value lies in what they are doing. In order to learn the benefit of rest, I need to set an example.

I feel the need to note… I hope it is clear I am not advocating a breakdown of the home. If you have read our page for any length of time, you know I highly recommend maintaining a clean home, home-cooked meals, and an organized lifestyle. What I am advocating is balance. There is a time to clean, and a time to rest. There is a time to organize, and a time to relax. In order to better serve in these capacities, we need to make a point of taking daily breaks.

The next time you’re tempted to put off that moment of rest for the sake of ‘doing something productive’, remember that renewing the soul and mind is profitable. Stop, take that break; then return to life’s never-ending responsibilities, ready to rock!

I hereby give you permission to take a break. Rest well!

 “Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”

Psalm 116:7

Your Turn!: When you do manage time for breaks, how do you relax?

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“I’m Bored!”

im_boredThere used to be an old saying, “If you’re bored, it’s because you are boring!” I find myself constantly quoting this to my children whenever I hear complaints of this nature. Personally, I find it very hard to validate any claims of boredom. There are far too many things in life to do, see, experience, and accomplish for me to be bored. So when my children show signs of this malady beginning to take hold, it’s time to jump into action.

Often “boredom” is merely another way for children to express an inner restlessness. Thus, we have devised a whole list of “boredom busters” which we frequently employ when the bug decides to bite.

Boredom Busters

  • Bubbles- Believe it or not, we don’t keep these out all the time. They are kept just for such occasions and for special events.
  • Play Dough- Same concept, we keep these for those times when the kids just need something different to do.
  • Art Attack- I have special boxes of art supplies just for moments of boredom. They are filled with foam shapes, stickers, self-inking stamps, and other fun items they don’t use when doing their normal art projects.
  • Paper Dolls- We have various sets of paper dolls (and some magnetic ones) which we pull out, helping to entertain us all.
  • Glow In the Dark Sticks- You might think these only work at night, but not so! We have been known to pull them out in the middle of the day, lock ourselves in a bathroom, and spend an hour having some fun.
  • Board Games- Hey, they aren’t called that for nothin’! We have been known to dump all the pieces out and mix them up, creating completely new games.
  • Flip Side- This is a fun activity my kids like, where they lay on their backs and imagine the world upside down. What would it be like to walk on the ceiling?
  • Balloons- I keep a bag (or two) of balloons on hand at all times. It takes only a few moments and the kids have a room full of balloons to play with. This never fails to keep them entertained.
  • Face Paint- After Halloween, I make sure to pick up several face painting kids for very inexpensive. We pull these out every so often and practice painting each other’s faces.
  • Camping- We have a child’s size camping tent we pop out, this offers hours of fun with very little work involved.

It seems quite a few others experience the same dilemma. There are entire websites, articles, and blogs dedicated to eradicating the boredom bug. Wow! Thankfully, our kiddos are very good at keeping themselves entertained. However, it doesn’t hurt to have a plan of action, in case the boredom bug hits.

My last resort, if none of the above seems to entice? “Hey, there’s always chores!” For some reason, this always seems to work….

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
~ I Thessalonians 5:18

Your Turn!: What is your favorite way to battle boredom?

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Review: Teach Them Diligently

review_teach_them_diligently

I appreciate discovering new reads which edify our family and encourage us in the faith. Throughout the learning year, and especially during seasons of downtime meant to refresh the mind and body, we want to fill ourselves with the Word of God and ask the Lord to show us His continued path for our family. Teach Them Diligently from Master Books is a beautiful reminder of God’s calling for parents, and a lovely way to start our summer break!

Teach Them Diligently is an edifying, encouraging read written from the heart of one parent to another. Leslie Nunnery takes us through a series of chapters and a multitude of Scripture, reminding us of the God-given gift of parenting. Together we cover topics such as the privilege of the position, preparing the parent, discipleship-focused parenting, and the importance of our conversations. Each chapter finishes with a gentle opportunity to reflect on what the Lord is teaching, offering our thanks and seeking His face. The result is a beautiful, mindful evaluation of our role as Mom and Dad.

“…It’s easy to say we trust Christ for everything, but are we living that truth?… Learn the practical view of discipleship parenting, what God expects from parents, and how to put these truths into action. See how parenting with the vision of teaching them diligently will intentionally bear fruit and affect change in your own life as well. Move beyond giving lip-service to what you believe, and make the conscious choice to rely on the wisdom of God’s holy instruction for your life and parenting…”
~ Master Books

Our family was blessed with a PDF copy of Teach Them Diligently for review. Always ready to hear what the Lord desires to teach me as both mom and educator, I couldn’t wait to dig into this book. After a particularly full day – one in which I most definitely needed a refilling of the Spirit – I put aside my never-ending to-do list, found a comfortable spot on a window seat, and asked the Lord to speak. With a little over one hundred engaging pages,review_teach_them_insert I found myself finishing Teach Them Diligently in less than a couple of hours. It was time well spent.

I found Teach Them Diligently to be a refreshing read. This was a wonderful reminder to remain faithful in our call to God as parents. I was edified through the multitude of Scripture presented, and reminded that in order to correctly train up my people I must first be righteous before my Father in heaven.

Personally, I recommend Teach Them Diligently be read by all Christian parents. From where I sit, it has just been added as one of my top ten gifts for all the parents we know. I think this lays a beautiful foundation for parents new to the faith and those having their first babies. For the rest of us who’ve been doing this for a bit, it is a fantastic reminder that our job is not yet done.

If you’d like to learn more about Teach Them Diligently and Master Books please visit them at their website – where you can download a preview or place your order for this incredible resource – and on Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube!

FTC Disclaimer

Your Turn!: In what specific areas of parenting has the Lord shown you diligence might be currently needed?

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Working Out Their Own Faith

working_out_their_own_faithOur family recently had the opportunity to visit with friends at their daughter’s birthday party. The kids had a blast, and we were able to catch up on recent happenings. But instead of walking away feeling refreshed and encouraged, I found myself thoughtful and frustrated. During our short visit, the father had expressed to my husband how he hoped we had enjoyed the young years while they had lasted. His reasoning? He went on to explain that all children need to work out their own faith and go through their own gospel experience. Now that our children were teens, we would lose our children to the world and they would rebel.

While I believe his heart was in the right place – he meant to impart wisdom – his words rubbed me raw. Do all children need to accept God on their own? YES! While it might sound like a cliché; God does not have any grandchildren. We don’t piggyback on our parent’s faith. We need to have our own. What I do not believe is that all children need to go through a hard, rebellious stage before accepting Christ as Savior. While there are no foolproof ways to keep our children from rebelling, there are steps we can take which help them make the right choices. Not all children go through this stage.

So, how do we go about preventing rebellion? I honestly think it all boils down to relationship. When our children know we love them and our choices reflect this love, they are less likely to rebel. When our children love us in return, they will do everything in their power to please us and bring us joy.

The key to squashing rebellion is love. We ought to be loving on our kids constantly and allowing them to love on us. We have open communication with lots of talk about why decisions are made in our home. Love is not casual permissiveness. (We don’t just give them what they want.) Love sometimes means correction, discipline, and consequences. When we love on our kids to this extent, we know who their friends are and their friends’ families. We know who is offering influence and we curb those choices; explaining them to our kids and why.

I believe that when our children see the evidence of love in our relationship with God, in our marriages, and for them, they will naturally want to please us. This love also opens doors for how they view God. Through our conversations, our actions, and our affection, our children see faith in action. They will see the blessings that come with a life lived for Him. They will see the distinction between those who rebel and those who obey. Our children will naturally come to their faith and without necessarily having to experience a tragic testimony.

Does this mean our children are perfect? Heavens, no! We aren’t perfected yet so why would be expected this of them? What this does mean, is that they will not willfully go out and hurt themselves, us, or God. While they might make mistakes, they are not doing so out of mutinous emotion.

I can always tell when I am failing to love on my children as much as I ought. Our children question my authority, they act out, and they have a hard time controlling their own emotions. This is a wake up call for me. I have somehow dropped the ball and need to bring things back into perspective. Once I get things back into focus, our children naturally resume their loving nature. The problem is usually me!

If I learned one thing from that afternoon with our friends, it was this… Unless I want my children to contribute to this statistic, I need to be proactive. I have a choice. I can allow this to happen or I can strive to prevent it. The only way I can see that happening is through strong doses of love. Supernatural, unconditional love; which only comes from the Father. With His help will my children be victorious in working out their faith.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
~ Proverbs 22:6

Your Turn!: Do you know a family whose children have yet to rebel? What do you think was the key to their success?

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A City Broken: Teaching Our Children Self-Control

a_city_brokenThe Bible teaches us that a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls (Proverbs 25:28). We are open, exposed, and basically waiting to be attacked. Our defenses are down, available to an enemy who seeks to plunder. One advantage to homeschooling is that as we train our children academically, we are also training them in character. We are helping form the adults they will one day become. Training their character is just as important as training their minds; in fact, they go hand in hand.

So what do we do when our children are defenseless and vulnerable? How do we help them rebuild their fortress, securing themselves from the inevitable attack of the world and its influence? Just like building a city, we build their character one brick at a time. We need to help them form their foundation, build their walls, and place guards to keep watch.

Forming the Foundation. In I Corinthians 3:11 we are told, “For no one can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ”. The foundation of all that we do, should be Christ. Our children should be steeped in the Word; knowing not only what they believe, but why they believe it. This will help them better understand why they need to have self-control.

Build the Walls.  In order to gain self-control, our children need to be given the proper tools; they need instruction and a lot of encouragement. There are some great steps that we can take to help them along the way.

  • Lead by example – Our children should see us exhibit these qualities. While we won’t be perfect, we can be a model and grow together.
  • Teach them to recognize – Children need to be able to identify when something is becoming a problem, long before it actually is a problem. Recognize the warning signs and instruct them how to avoid trouble.
  • Teach them to pray – The first, and best thing, to do when control starts to become an issue, is to pray! Let the Lord have control of the situation, not your emotions.
  • Teach them Scripture – Meditating on the Word of God is a great way to help them be filled with the Holy Spirit and not hurtful emotion.
  • Teach them to think – Show the kids how to work through the emotion and be logical. Whether it’s taking a walk, doing some deep breathing, or distracting yourself with another activity, we need to take a minute to reasonably work through the situation.
  • Teach them to act – Identifying the problem is only half the battle, we now need to resolve the issue. Form a “game plan” and then make it happen.

Place guards to watch. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it,” Proverbs 4:23. Let forgiveness and righteousness be your armor; allowing nothing evil to enter in and being quick to overlook the fault in others.

Whether you are doing arithmetic, piano, or taking that fun field trip; self-control is a vital lesson being learned. With grace and a lot of encouragement, our children will learn to use temperance in their daily lives, growing into the people they were called to be.

Let the Lord build and guard your children; with Him, you can’t go wrong. “…Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.”
~Psalm 127:1

Your Turn!: How do you instill self-control in your children? Is there a practical way that you safeguard them from emotional outbursts?

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Helping Our Children Manage Change

helping_our_children_manage_changeEvery once in a while, our family goes through major changes. It doesn’t happen often and we try to keep changes to a minimum, but, on occasion, something needs to give. There have been times I have had to change our homeschooling methods or curriculum. We have changed our church, our homeschooling group, our set of friends, and, at one point, almost moved out-of-state!

Our kids, like most others, do not always handle change well. They become anxious, moody, fearful, sad, obstinate, or clingy when life goes out of balance. It is our responsibility to help our children overcome their fear and accept this new area of their lives. While each child needs to be comforted in their own way, there are a few tried-and-true helps for everyone:

We try to make ourselves available to them. No matter the change, I want to make sure they are with me through it all. Our children are encouraged to share input and thoughts; they know we are doing this together.

We talk about the changes we are going through. I am honest about my fears, anxiety, and excitement. This helps them to know they are not alone and we are going through this as a team.

We let them know they are free to talk about their worries. My kids need to know I am here to listen to their concerns and there is nothing they can’t tell me.

We help them prepare for what is ahead. We discuss expectations, encourage one another, and prepare as best as we able for the coming changes.

We try to keep everything else normal. I try not to overwhelm them with too many changes at once. (e.g. If we are changing curriculum, we keep everything else about our day normal.) This keeps life a little more stable and gives them less to worry about.

We try to keep a positive attitude about the situation. It helps my kids when I get excited about the change and I show them how much they have to look forward to.

We try to make sure they are keeping healthy. This may sound funny, but it is vital. Kids get anxious about change, which can make them sick. It helps if I keep my kids on a regular diet; making sure they get exercise and plenty of rest.

Change can be a good thing. For children, it can also be scary. How we handle change, and make ourselves available to our family is vital. May the Lord help us embrace whatever change He is bringing our way, giving Him all glory and honor through the transition.

If you’re struggling with last-minute changes in your routine, – Don’t you just love when that happens? – it might be the Lord asking you to be Open to Change. Or, perhaps, curriculum isn’t working according to plan and you need a complete overhaul? May THIS article encourage you to take a breath, seek the Lord in all things, and give Him glory through the madness.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
~ Jeremiah 29:11

Your Turn!: How does your family handle life changing situations?

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