The Dilemma of Sleeping Children in Parents’ Beds

The Dilemma of Sleeping Children in Parents' BedsFor years, no matter how hard we tried, my son would not sleep through the night in his own bed. Oh, he would start the night out in his own room, but somehow in the middle of the night he always managed to sneak into the room and tuck himself in with his Pop. We tried having him sleep in his sisters’ room, we tried keeping a nightlight on, we tried any number of things. There was no substitution for Pop.

When he was little, it had been suggested that we train (read = paddle) him to stay in his own bed. Helpful friends mentioned we should lock our door. Others were adamant we let him cry it out. My guy and I didn’t care for any of those solutions, however. Sure, any number of them would have worked, but why?

While we weren’t getting as much sleep as we could and there were some nights we were wrestling with our son to stop moving around so much, it was nice to have him close. We only have our children for a short time and we appreciate the closeness they have with us. It would seem a shame to prevent them this brief moment in their lives. It won’t last forever.

While our son no longer sneaks into our room every night, on occasion I will wake to find him sleeping on the floor alongside the bed. It seems something bothered him during the night or he felt lonely and needed our company. He needed comfort and security.

I’m not sure where you’re at right now. Perhaps your littles are still in need of constant attention, and you’re about ready for them to grow out of this stage. Maybe you’re where we are with kiddos who still sneak into the room in the middle of the night. You might even be ‘done’ with these foundational years of parenting, with children grown and ready to move out. No matter where we are, may we learn to embrace each moment and rejoice in its gift. For a gift it is, indeed.

And, hey, we can sleep when they’re older, right?

“And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”
~ Malachi 4:6

Your Turn!: Do your children sneak into bed with you?

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6 thoughts on “The Dilemma of Sleeping Children in Parents’ Beds

  1. We co-slept with all our children and some stayed longer than others.. my now 21 yr old moved out of our bed to a love seat at the foot of the bed, then to his sister’s closet and eventually he began taking our youngest out of our bed to bring into his… He just diidn’t sleep well alone. Guess what, her turned out fine! is my least anxious child with nerves of steel and is in college with steep goals of becoming an eye surgeon! i am so grateful that my DH is a deep sleeper w and loved little ones on his chest. All kids would wake up with a bad dream of any reason and head to his side of the bed to snuggle. He swore his years in the Navy taught him to sleep through anything, lol.

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  2. My son does this less and less. Most of the time he comes in and asks us to take him right back to bed. I figure something woke him or startled him and he just needed to know he wasn’t alone. Our youngest, will crawl up into the bed and settle herself right in! I figured the same thing, they needed something or some kind of comfort, even to just know that we are still there. This too shall pass, and until then I will enjoy the moments.

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  3. My youngest coslept until age 1 due to my nursing him. After that he got the boot. LOL. We were always very strict about this. If my kids wanted to sleep in our bed, my husband would just go sleep on the floor in their room so that they felt at ease. He didn’t have to do this often. It wasn’t long before they stopped making late night trips into our room.

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