Bend or Break

As I glanced at my alarm clock, I could tell this was going to be a fun day. I was already running two hours behind and the day hadn’t even started yet! In addition to our late start, the kids were already beginning to squabble at each other and I had a long list of things which needed to get done.

I’m sure we’ve all had mornings like this one. Mornings, days, weeks, or months when things just don’t seem to gel. For whatever reason, our well-planned, organized life went haywire and we are struggling to catch up; setting our world to rights.

As home schoolers, this problem can cross over into all areas of our lives. Not only do we feel challenged to keep our households together, but our children’s education also needs to remain somewhat on track. While we don’t subscribe to a rigid form of learning, our children do, in fact, need to be progressing in their studies and receiving an education.

How do we maintain sanity while trying to keep life moving, especially when chaos comes at us from all angles? We learn to bend or we just might break.

Not every morning (or week for that matter) is going to go according to plan. I can either choose to make the situation worse by becoming irritated and nit-picking everyone or I can bend with the situation and find a workable solution.

By having a bad attitude, I am preventing myself from enjoying the day and all the blessings it has to hold. I am going to tear apart my family and stress myself out along the way. My children will be less able to learn when they are in a hostile environment, being pushed to make up for lost time. Our home may be “back on track” time wise, but, in all other senses, we’ve lost sight of what’s important.

On the other hand, when I choose to simply let it go, life is much more freeing. Yes; I woke up late, but maybe I really needed that extra sleep and the kiddos needed a few more winks too! Yes; we are a little behind, but perhaps this will inspire us to move a little quicker or just to rearrange our routine for the day. There are a lot of responsibilities on my plate, but maybe I need to re-prioritize our list.

I also need to evaluate the situation and see if there is a lesson hidden among the madness. Perhaps I need to learn to go to bed earlier. Maybe I needed to organize my day better or manage my time a little more wisely. Or, and here is a big one, maybe the Lord tossed this little snag my way to see what I would do with it. Am I going to bend, or break? Will I do my best with the situation or allow the situation to control me?

By “bending” to accommodate life’s occasional craziness, my children are also learning valuable lessons. They will see mommy own up to her mistakes (e.g. staying up too late); work with difficult situations; choose not to stress out; re-prioritize in times of need; and so much more. These are all just as important for them to learn as arithmetic.

Life isn’t always going to go according to plan. When we learn to bend, instead of break, we are choosing God’s best and setting an example for our children. After all, character is just as important as book learning. And, as a friend often says, “Blessed are the flexible!”

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me….”
– Philippians 4:12-14

 Chime In!: Do you struggle with remaining flexible in times of stress?

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Open to Change, Part II

Minute-by-minute changes in our routine are one thing, they generally affect our lives for a brief moment. But, what about those changes which are far-reaching and costly? Are we open to change when those changes stand to cost us something?

What happens when we invest a great deal of time and money into a homeschooling curriculum that just isn’t working? Do we stick with a routine we’ve established simply because we’ve dedicated hours of planning to getting down just the right schedule?

Before I scream in frustration or wallow in despair, I need to ask myself a few questions:

Did I pray about this? Before leaping into a change, I always want to pray. The Lord will help me determine whether this is just hormones speaking or the truth coming to light. (laughing)

What are my long-term goals? Do I know what I want for my family in the long run? When we envision the end goal, the hurdles are much easier to jump.

Is this change meeting those goals? By sticking with what I’m currently doing, are we able to accomplish what we set out to do? Let’s not waste time on things which do not move us toward the prize. I need to pick my battles carefully.

Could our goals be met in a better manner? Yes, this may in fact be doing the job, but is it doing it well? If a better plan comes along, I need to be open to change.

Am I one with my spouse on this issue? As always, what does my husband have to say on this matter? I don’t want to fight for constancy or change, if I am fighting alone. I need to be sure we are one on whatever the issue may be and then we move forward together.

Is there someone who could help me with perspective? Change can be hard, especially when the consequences are far-reaching. Instead of making a blind leap into the unknown, it might be in my best interest to seek counsel on this matter from someone who has been here before.

Change is always a hard one for me, but by focusing on what’s important, being one with my man, and seeking the Lord in all things, change definitely becomes a little easier.

Time to Chime In: What is the biggest change you’ve ever made mid-year into your homeschooling routine? (I know some of you have changed states!! That’s pretty big!)

Open to Change

I think I must be a stick in the mud. Once I have set myself down, getting me to move can be a little difficult. It’s not that I dislike change, but once I have my mind set in a particular direction, it can be challenging to redirect myself. One lesson I’m learning over the years is that I need to be open to change.

Change can be a beautiful thing, it really can; it offers new perspective, fun opportunities, and teaches many lessons. However, for someone who tends to be OCD, change cannot only be a little scary, but full of tension.

The hardest area of change for me… last-minute, day-to-day changes. It’s hard enough getting a stick in the mud to move slowly toward a new goal, but ask that stick to immediately shift into a new position and you are going to hear squeals of protest. (laughing) What helps me make those necessary, last-minute changes? Well, I…

Breathe – I try not to react, but simply take a deep breath. This helps me flush out the emotions willing to rush to the forefront of my mind, and allows me a moment to gain perspective of the situation.

Pray – If I can remember – I admit I don’t always do this when I should – I ask the Lord to help me through the situation. He knows what is best for my family and what I need to handle this in the best manner.

Listen – I cannot make a sound decision if I haven’t taken the time to listen fully to what’s needed.

Determine What’s Important – At that given moment, what is most important? Is it keeping to my schedule, dealing with my child’s character, running that errand for my husband, taking a last-minute field trip, or even having a necessary nap? What needs to take precedent; what can’t wait?

Reevaluate – Once my emotions are under control and I have fully understood what is happening, I do my best to evaluate the circumstances and decide the best way in which to tackle this new angle of life. Evaluating a curve ball can be tough sometimes!

Move Forward – Knowing what to do and doing it are two different things. Once I have my answer, I need to move forward with confidence, knowing God will provide.

With practice and patience, this stick in the mud is learning to be flexible. It isn’t always easy, but it is necessary. After all, either I can bend or I can break. Personally, I’d rather bend; wouldn’t you?

Time to Chime In: Do you ever wish you could just stamp your feet and growl like a bear to help rid yourself of tension? (laughing) What is the silliest thing you’ve ever done to help relieve stress?

Bend or Break

Seriously? As I glanced at my alarm clock, I could tell this was going to be a fun day. I was already running two hours behind and the day hadn’t even started yet! In addition to our late start, the kids were already beginning to squabble at each other and I had a long list of things which needed to get done.

Ah! I’m sure we’ve all had mornings like this one; no? Mornings, days, weeks, or months when things just don’t seem to gel. For whatever reason, our well-planned, organized life went haywire and we are struggling to catch up; setting our world to rights.

As home schoolers, this problem can cross over into all areas of our lives. Not only do we feel challenged to keep our households together, but our children’s education also needs to remain somewhat on track. While I don’t subscribe to a rigid form of learning, our children do, in fact, need to be progressing in their studies and receiving an education.

How do we maintain sanity while trying to keep life moving, especially when life comes at us from all angles? We learn to bend or we just might break.

Not every morning (or week for that matter) is going to go according to plan. I can either choose to make the situation worse by becoming irritated and nit-picking everyone or I can bend with the situation and find a workable solution.

By having a bad attitude, I am preventing myself from enjoying the day and all the blessings it has to hold. I am going to tear apart my family and stress myself out along the way. My children will be less able to learn when they are in a hostile environment, being pushed to make up for lost time. Our home may be “back on track” time wise, but, in all other senses, we’ve lost sight of what’s important.

On the other hand, when I choose to simply let it go, life is much more freeing. Yes; I woke up late, but maybe I really needed that extra sleep and the kiddos needed a few more winks too! Yes; we are a little behind, but perhaps this will inspire us to move a little quicker or just to rearrange our routine for the day. Yes; there are a lot of responsibilities on my plate, but maybe I need to re-prioritize our list.

I also need to evaluate the situation and see if there is a lesson hidden among the madness. Perhaps I need to learn to go to bed earlier. (Um; yeah. That’s totally me!) Maybe I needed to organize my day better or manage my time a little more wisely. Or, and here is a big one, maybe the Lord tossed this little snag my way to see what I would do with it. Am I going to bend or break? Will I do my best with the situation or allow the situation to control me?

By “bending” to accommodate life’s occasional craziness, my children are also learning valuable lessons. They will see mommy own up to her mistakes (like staying up to late); work with difficult situations; choose not to stress out; re-prioritize in times of need; and so much more. These are all just as important for them to learn as arithmetic.

Life isn’t always going to go according to plan. When we learn to bend, instead of break, we are choosing God’s best and setting an example for our children. After all, character is just as important as book learning. And, as a friend often says, “Blessed are the flexible!”

Do you struggle with remaining flexible in times of stress?

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me….”
– Philippians 4:12-14