A Toast To All the Girls: Homeschooling the Ladies

I think most of us agree, there is a significant difference between bringing up boys and bringing up young ladies. While each child is unique and has their own personality, we firmly believe in raising our children to fulfill the roles the Lord has prepared for them. Through the blessing of homeschooling, we have the unique opportunity to train up our children to fulfill their God-given roles.

“…urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Titus 2:4-5

Let’s Hit the Books

While I gravitate towards purchasing curriculum for all three girls from the same company – I really like the format/layout of the overall learning – I also tend to vary the routine and requirements for each one. One child’s strength is language arts, so more is expected of her in this area and we push her to strengthen her arithmetic skills. Another is the complete opposite. Then there’s our third, who prefers hands-on assistance in all things. I do my best to meet each where they are.

Clean Machines

Cleaning isn’t a job for only our girls, but it is more stressed in their daily routines than in our son’s. Considering our girls need to be trained in the keeping of their homes, we spend a portion of each day focusing on these skills.
Our girls have regular chore rotations each day of the week, so they become accustomed to maintaining household responsibilities on a regular basis.

It’s Your Night!

Again, cooking is not relegated to women alone, but we wish to train our girls in providing tasty meals for their families (should they marry). Thus, we spend a portion of each day in the kitchen. Some days we focus on meals themselves, other times we choose to have fun with desserts and tasty drinks.
On occasion, we also enjoy having the girls take turns being responsible for dinner. They plan, prepare and cook. Then we all enjoy. It can be tons of fun!

The Big Debate

In our home, we have never stressed college or careers, especially not with our girls. Does this mean we are against girls going to college? Not at all. Our focus has always been that our children be open to the leading of the Spirit; that they be faithful in following whichever path He lays before them. If it’s college and a career, so be it. We have just never stressed that college is a must.
That being said… What we have stressed is that, should our daughters be led to attend college and later get married and have families, they need to remember their first calling: to be keepers of their homes. How they choose to do this is between them and their husbands, through the guidance of the Lord, but keepers they are called to be. While they might like working and be good at it, the Lord has called them to a specific role and they should be faithful in fulfilling it.

It Takes All Kinds

As silly as it might seem, some people are under the impression that all women are the same. We all like wearing skirts, heels, makeup, and doing our hair. While a vast majority of us like these things, there are also some who prefer to live in jeans, wear pony tails, and go natural.
You’d think, having three girls come from the same parents, all our girls would be alike. They aren’t. And, that’s okay. Our girls are learning they each have different preferences and are learning to respect this.

Using the ’S’ Word

Here is a tough one! That dirty word most women can’t stand: Submission! Oh, yes.
Our girls are being taught the fine art of submission. They are being taught that submitting to their pop and to their future husbands doesn’t mean they are a doormat or weak (thank you, very much). It takes strength to have faith in another person, trusting they will make the best decisions on your behalf. It takes strength to let someone make decisions for your family; strength to move forward when someone asks it of you. Being submissive isn’t weakness, but a gracious act of love and respect. When we learn to see submission in the proper light, submission is a beautiful thing.

Raising girls is fun. Our home is full of tutus, dress up clothes, odd assortments of hairbows, and a growing number of shoes. With Biblical wisdom, a gentle hand, and the grace of God, we are raising our daughters to submit to the will of God and serve Him in all they do. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We’d love to know… Do your daughters like pink? Not all girls do!

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Does Your Child Have a Mentor?

I was flattered, truly. Here was a mama entrusting her daughter to my care, asking me to mentor through the process of becoming engaged and married. Unfortunately, what followed was less mentoring and more a mom looking for me to back her up on everything she said. As my own daughters approach adulthood, these memories come to mind and I find myself asking a few pertinent questions. Does my child need a mentor, and how do I go about getting one?

I am by no means a “young mom” any longer but this doesn’t mean I have it all down or that I don’t need guidance from time-to-time. So today I hope you’ll help me out. Because the truth is my experience with mentors is slim. Slim to none. I grew up in a generation that thought older people had nothing to teach us, and the older generation was fed up with us and left us to our own devices. Even within the church, I confess I’ve never had an older lady mentor me. I wish I had.

I always thought mentors were people the Lord naturally brought into your life. People you admired, respected, and thought could teach you something. It didn’t need to be one person who fit the bill. We could obtain mentors for various aspects of growth and learning. One might show us how to be a better wife, while another seemed to have the parenting thing down. We might respect someone’s business and wish to glean from their wealth of knowledge. What mattered most was that our mentors be wise, patient, willing, and Godly.

So here I stand. – Okay, sit. – Wondering what your thoughts are on helping our children find appropriate mentors….

• Did you have a mentor growing up?
• If so, how did you find your mentor?
• Do you consider your parents mentors?
• Do you have a mentor now?
• Did you approach your mentor, seeking them out, or did the Lord naturally bring you together?
• Do you feel your children need outside mentors? (Assuming they look to you first.)
• Have your growing children expressed a desire for a mentor or naturally found one?
• How can we facilitate Biblical mentoring for our children?
• Is it our responsibility to find our children a mentor or their own?
• What should we be looking for in a good mentor?
• Should our mentors be older than we are, or merely more experienced?

There are so many fascinating aspects to this discussion, and we look forward to hearing all your helpful thoughts. While it’s obvious we don’t have all the answers to this topic, we’re confident in this… God knows what our children need even more than we do, and will provide if only we ask.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
Proverbs 27:17

Your Turn!: Please share your thoughts on this topic, and help others who are seeking answers!

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I Just Don’t Want To

It happens from time to time. It’s becoming more common as my children grow older, and begin to express personal desires and opinions. We’re getting ready to walk out the door and someone announces they are no longer interested in participating in our planned activity. No reason, no rhyme. Only a curt, “I just don’t want to!” What’s a mom to do?

I’ll be honest, these situations are hard for me. I dislike changes in plans as it is. Then we heap on a desire to not participate? This is not good! Before the problem escalates, I need to pray for wisdom and then ask myself the following questions:

What is really going on? Who knows what’s going on in their heads? I don’t! And I won’t until I ask. This might be rebellion or simply a genuine lack of interest. Before I can determine a course of action, I need to communicate with my children and seek out truth.

What’s the most important thing? Yes, the field trip would be fun, but is it worth the kicking and screaming to get out the door? On the other hand, while it might be easier to not make my children get out of bed, we understand church is non-negotiable and like-minded fellowship is vital. Each situation will be different, but the end goal the same. We ask the Lord what is most important and act upon it.

Is there a lesson to be learned? Whether by me, or my child, perhaps the Lord has something to show us. Maybe I need to learn how to pick my battles. Perhaps my child needs to learn the disadvantage and consequence of missing out, or the benefit of being made to participate. First, I need to identify the lesson and then move forward.

While I’m never excited to hear my children announce they suddenly do not wish to participate, I’m learning to no longer take these decisions personally. Often these circumstances are opportunities for growth and lessons we all needed to learn. Through the Lord’s leading I am learning to listen, understand, and lead my children with grace. It’s not always easy, but it’s well worth the effort.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:”
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

Your Turn!: One of your several children adamantly decides they do not wish to participate in a given outside activity, how would you handle this situation when both parents had planned on attending and no babysitter is available?

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He’s Building a Cathedral

The waking of children, cleaning of the house, cooking of food, running of errands, character building, discipling and homeschooling keep me tied to the moment. I can get bogged down in my day-to-day experiences to the point I lose sight of my overall goal. It’s as if they are walls surrounding me, preventing me from seeing beyond the day’s activities. I can become overwhelmed, disheartened by thinking I am not making progress but instead spinning my wheels. Then the Lord gently reminds me these daily responsibilities are important and necessary. I might not see the end picture, but He does. He is building a cathedral, and no cathedral was built in a day.

The Lord has great plans for my children. I know this because God’s Word speaks to this truth. But what about those times it feels as though nothing is being accomplished? We are still facing the same issues we were last week, or last month. We get frustrated with one another. Even when we conquer one area of concern, another is soon to follow. What can we do? How can I to realign myself with God’s Word and once again focus on the Lord’s purpose for our family?

Prayer – Whether it’s lies from the enemy, hard truths which need to be faced, or just a difficult day needing to be dealt with. I am going to fail if I do this on my own. Before I turn anywhere else, I need to fall on my knees and seek the Lord. With Him all things are possible.

Encouragement –  The Lord has given us friends and family to edify us during these moments of discouragement. They pray for us, perhaps show us where we have deviated from the plan, and come alongside us to work together toward the end goal. When I become overwhelmed by the cares of today and lose sight of the bigger picture, it’s these like-minded Christians I need surrounding me.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back – While this seems discouraging, in truth we are still making progress! What might seem like a setback could in fact be additional lessons the Lord feels we need in order to perfect the lives He is building. The goal is righteousness, which often means practice, practice, practice. We need to think positive! Progress is progress, no matter how slow or tedious it might seem at the time.

This is Only Phase One – The building up of these children does not end with us parents, though we ought to be the ones laying a solid foundation for the work which will continue throughout their lifetimes. When I become overwhelmed that my children are not perfected today, He reminds me the job is not done. He is still working in each of us, myself included.

This is Not My Project – Though this was just mentioned, it’s worth repeating. I am not in charge. God is. The Master Builder has given me – a poor layman – instructions and objectives. My job is to carry those out to the best of my meager ability, understanding He is not only working through me, but cleaning up after my messes, laying groundwork for future accomplishment, and perfecting these little people. If this is His work, I need only be faithful and trust in Him.

My prayer is that the Lord continues to help me see as He sees. To no longer be bogged down by day-to-day responsibility, but rather be invigorated by each act of service knowing there is a greater purpose. His purpose. I may not see the bigger picture; the final plan. But I can rest in knowing the One who does.

No matter where today finds each of us. May we seek Him wholeheartedly. May He fill us with His presence, renew our minds for the task at hand, give us strength beyond our ability and peace which surpasses all understanding. When we stumble and fall, may He lift us higher than we could imagine. And when we lose sight of His vision, may we move forward in faith. These children are not our own, but His. May we embrace the blessing of assisting in His building of their lives.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
~ Jeremiah 29:11

Your Turn!: If you could give up one daily household task, which would it be?

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Celebrating the True Meaning of Easter!

Aside from Christmas, Easter is the most significant holiday for Christians. This is more than just an opportunity collect eggs, wear cute bunny ears, and hoard candy. Easter is amazing, redeeming grace. For our family, this is a time to put aside outside responsibilities and simply focus on the true meaning of this holy week. From this Sunday till next, we will focus on all things Easter.

It is our desire to use this week not only for encouraging our family, but to learn from yours! Join us as we focus on the true meaning of this special holiday. We hope to share some of our favorite games, activities, crafts, and recipes which all point towards Christ and His love for us.

Easter Fun: Easter Week Begins
Easter Fun: Resurrection Eggs
Easter Fun: Books
Easter Fun: Egg Decorating
Easter Fun: Resurrection Garden
Easter Fun: Resurrection Rolls

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,”
~ John 11:25

Time to Chime In! : What is your family’s favorite homeschool resource for learning the true meaning of Easter?

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When Disobedience Becomes A Homeschooling Challenge

Homeschooling can be a challenge. There are routines to be established, decisions regarding curriculum – or non-curriculum – to be made, discovering how to best help our children learn, and more. The one challenge we don’t need is our children’s lack of obedience.

As any parent will tell you, when a child chooses to be disobedient, life becomes stressful and downright unpleasant. Now, try taking that disobedient child and make them sit through a learning session, on any topic! It’s enough to make one shudder in fear or erupt like an active volcano. Life with a disobedient child is a struggle.

While my OCD nature balks at the idea of stopping all learning to deal with this issue, it usually is the best. When the obstacle of disobedience is removed, our learning day runs more smoothly and everyone is better off.

How does one go about removing the barrier of disobedience and restoring their children to a right relationship within the family and with God?

Pray – As always, all things should start in prayer. Pray first, act second.

Is This Really Disobedience? – We need to determine if this is an act of disobedience. Sometimes our children are not trying to rebel, but are merely attempting to communicate something important or express their personalities. Before we enact justice, we need to determine whether the situation calls for it.

Identify The Problem – If this is an act of rebellion, we need to determine from where the problem stems. Is my child looking for attention? Is there a need which is not being met? Did they not get enough sleep, need some food, or perhaps this is a character issue?

Work Through the Problem – Depending on the situation, we will need to determine the best course of action. My child might just need a few minutes of exercise to get back on the right track. I might need to feed them a meal, make them take a nap, or something more serious. If this is a matter of character training, I will pray about how they should be disciplined and discuss the situation with my husband.

Train, Train, Train – Repetition is good for a developing mind, this is true. However, it doesn’t hurt us oldie-but-goodies either! We need to train ourselves to identify a toxic situation before it becomes a full-blown mess; diffusing the situation early on, if we can. For the littles, we need to train them out of bad character and into good; this means lots of practice! We teach them to identify when they need something and how to communicate this need. We disciple and train for character as often as possible.

Tie Strings – It is just as important to make sure we are reestablishing the relationship with our children as it is for us to train them into right behavior. Training without affection and re-bonding with the disciplinarian leads to further disobedience in the future. Our children need to know we do these things because we love them, not because we are dictators trying to rule their lives with an iron fist. As our children are working through their struggles, we need to constantly be offering encouragement and opportunities for affection. They need to see we love them even when they are disobedient; helping them every step of the way.

Parenting a disobedient child is indeed a struggle. Being a homeschooling parent with a disobedient child simply magnifies the situation. Take the time to defuse the situation, getting to the heart of the matter before the day gets out of hand. With this obstacle out-of-the-way, our day will proceed more smoothly. Who doesn’t like that?

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
~ Ephesians 6:1-3

📢 Chime In!: When your child is disobedient, what measures do you take to get things back on track?

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To The Drill Sergeant Within

To the drill sergeant within my head, may you take these words to heart and put them into action.

Dear Drill,

With four little ‘cadets’ in your charge, you have a full routine of activities before you. Responsibility quickly fills your day, leaving little time for anything else. While I appreciate all you are doing and all the hard work you are putting into training up these little charges, there are a few things I wish to point out to you.

They’re Still In Training

It’s true, you have been given a huge responsibility; one which you are putting your full effort into. However, from time to time, it’s good to remind yourself these trainees are just children. They are going to stumble, fumble, and grumble on occasion. These little ones need not only strict training, but also lots of love. They need to know you are not only able to whip them into shape, but also able to be fun. They need to understand you desire respect, but offer grace. You are firm, but kind. You challenge, yet help. 

As they grow, they will need your daily assistance less and less. However, this does not mean your job will be over. Your job will move from drill to councilor. You will be expected to listen carefully, help them analyze their situations, and encourage them to move forward with confidence. 

Pick Your Battles

In your struggle to train these little people up wisely, you will come across many battles. It is key that you remember not all battles are going to be won and not all battles are yours to fight. Allow our great and powerful leader, Christ, to conquer where you are unable. Afford your charges opportunities to fight battles for themselves, gaining strength from their experiences. 

Stop beating yourself up over battles lost. Focus on the bigger picture, winning the war. 

Trust Your Leader

The Lord, Who called you to this, knows what He is doing. He has given you all you need to complete this mission. Never fear, He is constantly watching you; moment by moment. He is keeping tabs on the situation and is offering help constantly.

Put your faith in Him, knowing He will see you through; even those moments when dolling out thousands of push-ups seems the only answer. He understands your frustration, but He knows you can do this! 

Remember They’re Not Yours

While it might be tempting to think of these charges as your own, please remember they aren’t. Yes, they are in your care, but, in truth, they belong to our Commander. He has given them to you for a short time to help train, but they always have and always will belong to Him.

Train Them, But Love Them

You have been called to a unique mission. You are being asked to train, but to train out of love. Your training IS an act of love, to be sure, but, from time to time, they are also going to need physical affection; even those whose training is almost complete. Never forget to hug them, cuddle them, and show how much you care. A good drill knows there should be balance between being firm and being loving. 

Keep Up The Good Work

Finally, drill, I leave you with this. Do not give up! Your mission might seem frustrating at times. Often you might wonder if your job is really all that important. But, let me assure you, it is vital. What you are doing is of the utmost importance and you need to pursue till the end. Do not allow our enemy to deceive you into thinking you are worthless and of no value. 

One day these ‘cadets’ will be drills themselves. They will look back on this time and remember all you have taught them, putting to use all the skills you are so diligently training into them. May they see you struggle, but always rise again. May they see you move forward with confidence, kindness, and affection; knowing love is behind all you do. 

My dear drill, may the Father continue to give you strength and peace. May He fill you with His love to share with these little soldiers. May He constantly reaffirm His mission for your life, leaving you with no doubt that to this you were called.

Be Blessed,
Cristina

“No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.” II Timothy 2:4

🔔Time Chime In: Write a short note to your ‘drill sergeant’ and share it with us!

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It’s Not Your Fault

As parents, we have a tendency to put our children’s behaviors onto our own shoulders. When they are doing well, we give ourselves a pat on the back. When they misbehave, we berate ourselves and stress over how we could be doing better. Sometimes, it’s important to understand that our children are just human. They have free will and not everything that goes wrong is our fault.

Maybe it’s just me, but when my children act out or misbehave I tend to ask myself what I did wrong. Was there something I could have done differently; am I missing an area in my parenting or character training; or is this an act of rebellion due to something I’ve done?

Now, don’t get me wrong. (Because I always feel the need to qualify.) Sometimes we are the cause of our children’s issues; we frustrate them, hurt them, or just flat-out make mistakes. We are human, too. However, we also need to realize that there comes a time when our children need to own up to their own actions and take responsibility.

Our children are human, just like us. They, too, will make mistakes and need to mature. While it is a good idea to take stock of each stumble and learn valuable lessons, not every stumble is the parents’ fault; this is especially true as our children grow up.

Children, just like parents, have the ability to choose good; to do the right thing. Our job as parents is to model and train them to choose the good. We cannot force the good upon them or make them into robots who will perform well on command. If we are doing our part, we need to allow our children to do their part; mainly, to make those choices on their own.

When our children choose well, we commend them and encourage them to continue. When they choose poorly, we help them learn the lesson and redirect them onto the right path. If our children refuse to choose the good or refuse to be brought back to a better starting point, that is not our fault. They are expressing and demonstrating their free will.

Take stock of each situation. If you could be doing better; do so! However, if you are doing your best and your children are still struggling, learn to let it go. You are doing your part, their choices are not your fault.

Does this mean we have no recourse? Absolutely not! We do the only thing we can do: pray! Pray, and pray hard. Ask the Lord to convict them, guide them to where they ought to be, and bring them back into a right relationship with the family. Prayer is very powerful, don’t underestimate it.

At the end of the day, we are all fallen creatures with free will. Our children are no different from us, they just have a few more lessons to learn. Train them well, disciple their hearts, and help them make those wise choices. If they should choose poorly, instead of heaping on the self-inflicted guilt, focus on the lesson. Not everything they do is your fault.

Time to Chime In: Do you feel guilty when your children act out or rebel? How do you overcome your own self-doubt and move forward?

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” – I John 2:1